Au'jaeuh Johnson
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I stood at my parent's room door listening to their conversation. My intentions wasn't to listen to their conversation, no.
I was coming to ask for help with my hair, but I stopped once I heard commotion.
Something's wrong.
"Let me ask you a question" ma said in a serious tone, "What you getting out of hurting yourself?"
Huh?
"I'm not hurting myself" my momma responded and her voice fainted, "I just wanna be — loved for who I am"
"If you start crying the conversation over" ma said as I just stood froze, "You cannot talk about this without crying. Calm down, breathe"
It went silent for a few seconds.
"Okay" I heard my momma say
"Okay, what?" ma asked waiting for clarity
"I'm not gonna cry, I'm okay" she said and I could tell she was fighting her tears, "I want you to understand me"
I've never really seen any of my parents cry or express their pain. Only time I seen it was when my situation with Jahrya happened.
Other than that they're always happy.
"Angel I understand you, it's them who don't understand you. They don't want you, you're not wanted"
"I know"
"Why you wanna go spend thanksgiving with them?" ma asked and I pieced something together, "You should never go where you're not wanted"
"It thanksgiving"
"It don't matter, mamas. You got me, we got our kids. Spend time with people who actually love you for you. People who accept you"
"Okay" my momma said and it got quiet again
"It's time to let them go for the sake of your happiness. It hurt, but life bigger than them. If they wanna go, let them go"
"But —"
"No, no it ain't no buts. What if I woke up tomorrow and wanted to leave, what would you do?" ma asked causing me to scrunch my face up
I know it's a hypothetical question but damn.
"I'm gonna chase you, and work to get you back"
"You have a hard time letting people go. If I wake up and decide to leave, you suppose to let me go" ma said basically correcting her answer, "It's fuck me"
"But you won't do that, right?" my momma asked for confirmation
"Till death do us part, I'm with you through whatever. You know that, baby. I'm tryna get you to understand that your peace comes first. Let them people go"
"Okay" my momma said in a unsure tone
"We're not going to them people house for them to cause more damage. You're okay without them"
"What we gonna do?"
"I'm satisfied right here with my wife and kids" ma said carelessly, "If you wanna go over to my momma house we can. They was asking anyway"
"We can go, I wanna get out the house" my momma said before ma hummed in response
"We ain't gotta stay the whole time, just a hour"
"I'm okay with that" my momma said before I just walked away and went back to my room
I pieced together what need to be put together. But who in particular is "them people"?
