Chapter 47

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Mesut's POV:

Waking up the morning after all that happened last night, I opened my eyes and sighed all in a heavy manner. As the thoughts of last night were immediately to come to me, each one of them, referring to Scarlett and I. Yes, I do completely understand the reasons of why she did not want to listen to what I had to say about the situation, she was mad, angry, and upset as well, but, I just wanted her to hear me out. I wanted Scarlett, to hear me out, to listen to me with all I had to say to her so that I could explain why I am not happy as a result of her being pregnant. But I was unable to, as you know, and all I can hope and pray is that someday, all I hope to be soon she will listen to me. And so maybe then she will understand all my actions.

Despite how sorry I am that Scarlett had to find out my true feelings in all of this sort of way, not at all does it change anything. I still feel the same as I did the moment Scarlett told me I was to become a father, I still do not want this, and I still do not feel like I am ready. But in a sense, who can really blame me? I have been with Scarlett, properly, for only a matter all of a few months now, and that in my opinion, is not enough time to start a family. Maybe if we were together longer, say a year from now or two, then things may be different. I may want a family, I may want to start one with Scarlett in that amount of time, but not now. All what I want now is to enjoy my life with my new girlfriend, but that, now, is seeming a challenge.

Anyway, breathing out in a frustrated tone of voice, I turned to look at the clock all in which I had placed on the bedside table. But sighing heavily, as I noticed, and saw, that it was time for me to start getting ready to leave for training. So carefully standing up from the bed just to make sure I did not wake up Scarlett from beside me, I made my way over towards all the set of chest of draws in the corner of the room. Where I proceeded to take out my clothes in which I would wear to training, placing them down onto the floor, behind me. So, once I had got my clothes out, I then started to change into them. Starting off with a fresh pair of some of my boxers, then my joggers, shoes, and finally, my top, to finish with moments after it all.

Standing up straight in the moment I was finally dressed, I walked into the bathroom then in a way to brush my teeth, before returning back to the bedroom again. Just seeing there, in a second of entering again, how peaceful Scarlett looked sleeping, it really did break my heart, into millions of tiny pieces. Just from how much pain I have caused this woman, over each of my selfish actions I have made towards her. Closing my eyes for a moment and taking such a deep breath, I ran a hand over my face, heading over towards my training bag in which I had placed by the French doors to our room leading out onto the balcony. So once I picked it up, I in that moment walked towards Scarlett on her side of the bed, looking down at her then.

And with what I did next, I could not help myself. As I leant down closer towards Scarlett, in bed, and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. Lingering my lips there for a while, all with my eyes closed in the process. And as I did so, she simply just mumbled in her sleep, not just in the slightest waking up, but mumbling to herself. So removing my lips from her forehead I in that moment looked down at her sleep, a small smile upon me in doing so. "I love you and that will never change." Letting slip from my lips then in a whisper I sighed, knowing full well she was unable to hear me but just wanting to say those words to her as I really did need to.

So with that and taking one more glance towards Scarlett peacefully sleeping in bed, I was in that moment to proceed to walk out of the room with my training bag in hand. Delicately all to close the door behind me as I exited out of it, I made my way down the stairs as quiet as I could, due to knowing the dogs would bark and wake Scarlett up. So, picking up my car keys from the side, I soon made my way out of the house and to my car. This foul mood upon me as I did so. As the truth is the one and only place which I want to be right now is at home, so I can try to sort things out with Scarlett after how they have turned out. But with me having no other option other than to go to training, I will now have a while for me to do all of that.

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