Chapter 51

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Scarlett's POV:

Sitting myself down inside my side here outside work, I let a loud sigh escape out of my lips, as I held tightly onto the steering wheel. To be completely honest with you, as a result of all the way Mesut spoke to me on the phone earlier on, I honestly am so hurt. I mean, yes, I do of course understand how he is not into this whole pregnancy thing – well, I am at least only to be trying to understand it – but, he does not need to speak to me like that. All I was trying to do was ask for his opinion on whether or not I should take up Antonio's offer on turning a small amount of my shoots into that of pregnancy ones. But no, just like Mesut has not been interested in my pregnancy so far the same has been shown in this of my work involved in it.

In my opinion, he could have at least shown interest in it, instead of simply just saying to me that; it is your body, you do what you want with it. How would he feel if I had done such of a thing to him, in reference to his football? Say if Mesut got a transfer offer from another club and had asked me on my opinion on it and I just answered with 'it's your career you do what you want with it', I know for a fact Mesut would be acting the same as I am right now. There is no doubt in the back of my mind which is telling me that he would not be hurt, that not all at all would he feel broken, just as I am right now. For someone you love not to show even a slight bit of interest in your career, it is heart breaking. I wish he would be more considerate.

Anyway taking a deep breath in and then back out again in order to try to calm myself down a little, I soon put the keys into ignition and started to drive myself home. Trying as hard as I could, to take the thoughts off Mesut off my mind. But no matter how hard I tried to do so, I really could not seem to do so. As he was all I could think about. Mesut, Mesut, Mesut – this was all that was going through my mind right now. And to be honest with you with the way I have found him act towards me today over my work and how he does not care all about this baby of ours which I am carrying, it just spells the end for us as a couple if I am to be honest.

There is no way that I can see us lasting much longer, if this is the attitude he is going to give me. Of course, not by any means do I want this to be the end for us as I love him more than I can put into words. But, can I really allow myself and our unborn child, to be brought up into this world with its father, not wanting anything to do with it? No, no I cannot. Not even all in a slight way can I do that, I really cannot. And now I am going to be a mother I know that it is time to put myself second, and my baby first. My baby deserves the best in the world, with a father or without one. I am willing to do whatever it takes to give my child a great life now if I am honest with you, even if I have to do each and every part of this work, only on my own.

Soon enough though and I finally arrived home, stopping the car of Mesut's in which he is to always let me use, on its usual parking space. But not in the slightest did I make any attempt to get myself out of the car, as, I just stayed sat there. I did not want to get out and go inside of the house where Mesut is, I really did not, as I did not want to face him. As I know what it is I am like, I will not be able to bite my tongue on this. I am never usually a fiery person, not in the slightest. But when it comes to my baby and also my career when Mesut does not just at all show any interest it leads into two emotions. Either me being upset or me being angry. And right now, I know which way it will go; it will turn out in me being ever so angry, at him.

But knowing full well for a fact that I could not sit in here forever, I opted on the decision to just get myself out of the car. As I did so, and locked it behind me, before walking inside the house then. Kicking my shoes off my feet at the front door once I had entered, stroking both of the dogs as they came to me, I soon walked ahead to the front room, where the sound of the TV was evident to me. And once I entered I noticed Mesut sat on the sofa, watching only whatever was on the TV, and not paying any interest in me. "I didn't take the offer Mesut as I knew you didn't want me to." Looking at him as I spoke, he did not even respond to me, all in the slightest. So I sighed, and was to repeat myself in what it was that I said to him all of a few moments ago, just now. "I didn't take the offer Mesut as I knew you didn't want me to."

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