A few days later Brooke and I arranged the service for Autumn at our local funeral home. We let our friends and family know where Autumn was being laid out at and what time were visiting hours. Brooke was in the twins' room dressing them and getting them ready. As for me I was standing in Autumn's doorway looking into her room. Everything was still in its original place. Nothing was touched.
"Ashley? Are you ready?" I turned around and saw Brooke standing at the top of the stairs holding the twins in each arm.
"Go ahead, just give me a few minutes" I sighed, hearing Brooke walk down the steps and out the front door. I stepped into Autumn's room and looked around at all her things. Posters, books, clothes, hair accessories, make up. Everything you name was here. One particular item caught my attention. I walked over to Autumn's nightstand and picked up a picture frame. It was a photo of me and Autumn at her very first tour. She was so energized and happy that night. Her energy made me play twice has hard that night. I took the picture and walked downstairs, getting into the car. I'm going to set this on Autumn's casket.
I got into the car, starting it and waited for Cayden to come out with Audrey. Once Cayden was the last one to walk out and strap Audrey in her car seat, I backed out of the driveway and set off to the funeral home. We pulled into the parking lot and I noticed we weren't the first ones to arrive. Sammi and Jinxx were just getting out of their car. I got out of the car and made my way over to Sammi and Jinxx.
"Man, I'm so sorry." Jinxx said giving me a tight squeeze. "This is horrible." I nodded my head acknowledging Jinnx's words and laced my fingers with my wife's. Sammi came up to us and gave both Brooke and I a tight hug.
"Ashley, I'm so sorry this happened. You know you guys can call us if there's anything you need. Please don't hesitate." Sammi said hugging us again. I thanked her and gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek and sighed looking at the entrance's doors. Just knowing my daughter is in there laying in a casket, it feels so weird. I sighed walking towards the doors, opening them and saw as the funeral director approached us.
He led us into the room where Autumn's casket was and lifted the lid, revealing my daughter laying there. Lifeless. Brooke had picked out Autumn's clothing as I was too much of a wreck. Brooke had Autumn dressed in her black dress she wore on her sweet sixteen. Autumn looked beautiful. Peaceful. As requested the funeral home had a rosary wrapped around Autumn's clasped hands. Lifeless and still takes my breath away. Just looking at her I couldn't think. The air in my lungs was trapped and burning my throat. This is so wrong.
I placed my hand on her cold, pale face and kissed her forehead. I wiped the tears that fell from my face and stood there looking at her. I placed the photo of us on the panel of her casket and looked at her. Everything about this isn't right. Autumn dying like this, just doesn't set right with me. Cayden walked over holding Audrey and sighed as he stared down at his wife. I know Cayden is going insane on the inside, but he's holding it for the family and Audrey. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and patted his arm.
"This wasn't supposed to happen. Autumn and I had plans to have a wonderful future and now..its crushed. Gone." Cayden cried, placing his hand on Autumn's.
"I know, but just think Cayden. Autumn's not suffering anymore, she's not hurting. And I know she would want you to go on and try to make yours and Audrey's future the best you can. I bet she's up there right now smiling at us." Cayden nodded his head and just stared at Autumn. Just as I turned around to head back over to Brooke. I heard Cayden whisper: "I love you, Autumn." My heart just sank even lower.
As the hours went by, the funeral home became more and more crowded. Crowded with friends and family that both Autumn and I knew over the years. But there was one person I saw who stuck out like a sore thumb. I questioned myself as to why this person would show up. It was Riley. She slowly made her way over to me and looked at with hurt in her eyes.
"Mr. Purdy, before you fly off the deep end, I just wanted you to know I came here to pay my respects to Autumn. I know we didn't have the best friendship and we ran into trouble. I heard about Autumn on Twitter, but if you would just let me give your family my condolences, I would appreciate that." she said. I stared at this girl, who caused Autumn so much grief and cheated with Autumn's husband. Why in the hell would she set foot in this funeral home? Some nerve.
"Alright, just view her casket. Say your prayer and please just leave." I said in the nicest way possible. I couldn't stand Riley. But she did admit her wrong doings and approached me with respect. As of right now, I just don't care anymore. Riley walked up to Autumn's casket, stared at her for a second and kneeled on the bench saying a prayer. She got up and smiled at me, before thanking me and walked out the doors. I walked back up to Autumn and noticed there was a note left on her lap.
I picked it up, unfolding it and saw it was from Riley. I looked down at the piece of paper and saw the words written in bold, black ink. AUTUMN, I'M SORRY. VERY SORRY- RILEY. I took the note, folded it back up and placed it in my shirt pocket. This is not being buried with my daughter. I walked back over to my wife and sat down. Two seconds later, Cayden came over, joining me. He held Audrey on his lap, playing with her small fingers.
"You alright, Cayden?" I asked
"I'm trying to get to that stage. Look, Ashley, uhm, since Autumn isn't in the house anymore. I was just thinking why not I get a small apartment somewhere. Just too many painful memories of Autumn in the house." Cayden said. So now I lose my granddaughter too??
"So, now I won't see Audrey anymore, right?"
"No! No, I'll always let you see Audrey. Just being in the house, in the room where me and Autumn used to sleep. It's just too hard right now, Ash. I promise you I will let you see Audrey." I looked at him for a quick second and then to Audrey. If this is what Cayden wants for him and his daughter, I can't stop him.
"Just don't let her quit staying adorable!" I smiled kissing the top of Audrey's head.
"Deal." Autumn was laid out for another day and the morning after the funeral home loaded her casket into the hearse and drove to the cemetery. The priest said his words and then let each of us place a rose on top of her casket. Once Autumn was lowered to the ground, it was all over. I would go home and wouldn't see Autumn sitting on the couch, reading. Or hear her music blasting from her room. She was really gone. And I couldn't bring her back. Her headstone read: R.I.P Autumn Charlean Purdy. Mother, wife, best friend. Our Fallen Angel
After we came home, I helped Cayden pack up his things and loaded them into his car. We managed to find him a small, compatible apartment for Audrey and himself. I did loan Cayden a few extra dollars and told him don't worry about paying me back. Watching Audrey while he works was enough payback for me. Once Cayden was out of the driveway and drove down the street. I realized I was alone.
I mean I still had my wife and kids, but now that Autumn was gone. It felt like there was a hole in my chest and there was no way to fix it. First, Autumn's mother Audrey was the first to go. The hole was small, Kassie killed my first unborn son, the hole got bigger. Autumn diagnosed with cancer, hole got even bigger. Now, Autumn's gone and the hole has now become a huge crater in the middle of my chest. I'll still smile for my family, friends and fans. But on the inside, I'm breaking. Slowly
Losing a child is like losing your soul. You may put on a front for the world but, inside, you are dying. I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me daddy for the first time. I sat down at the patio table and sighed, looking up at the sky.
"I miss you, Autumn. If there's anything you need, anything. You know I won't be far away." I said looking down at my shoes this time. I sighed, resting my chin in my hand and then felt a small breeze blow across the yard, lightly hitting my face. I looked up at the sky again, smiling and thought: "Yeah, she's listening. Autumn's not far from me either. She's my Fallen Angel."
*END of series*
A/N: I cried the whole time, writing this and here is picture of Autumn's dress ------->>
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Living Purdy(Continuation of My Purdy Dad){COMPLETED}
FanfictionThird book of the series
