No Longer

Chapter 22

A/N So , I know it’s been a loooong time since I updated last…sorry about that! I haven’t had any inspiration or motivation to write lately. However, my mom pissed me off tonight so I took my frustrations out in this story. I hope you like it!!

“You’re gonna give me another chance?”

“No, I meant maybe you were right, I could use some water, thanks.”

“Oh, right, yeah I’ll get some for you. Got a cup?”

“On the nightstand.”

“Okay, I’ll just get some from the faucet in the sink.”

He walked into the bathroom and I heard the gentle flow of water being turned on. Little did he know, that water is hot for at least five minutes before cooling enough to be drunk. So, I had five minutes to think. I’m not sure why I was debating it so much in my head. I didn’t love him, not since he left me. And seeing him have sex with Brenda, I can’t even talk about it. He was no longer in my heart, at all. He was just a faint memory, a stepping stone on the preverbal path of life. It was over between us, there could never be any rekindling of past feelings…but he could help me keep my son. I contemplated whether or not I should just say I loved him so I could see my precious child and hopefully keep him from going through what I was. But, was I that kind of person? Could I just use someone like that? Pretend to love him and care about his wellbeing? *Water faucet turns off* We were about to find out.

“Here you go. Sorry it took so long. The water took forever to cool down.”

“Yeah, it’s always like that.”

“I’ll have my mom have someone come look at it.”

“It’s not necessary. I’m used to it. I’ve been here for months now and it’s always been like that.”

“So, have you thought about my proposal? I know it’s a long shot but—“

“No.”

“No what? No it’s not a long shot or no you can’t do it?”

“No I can’t do it. I don’t love you and I can’t pretend I do. Even if it would mean I could protect my son. I’m not that kind of person; though sometimes I wish I was.”

“Fine. But just know, whenever he is suffering, it is your fault. You could have prevented it all.”

“Fuck you!”

“I wish you would.”

“Get the hell out of my room now! I hope you rot in hell! You and your whole family!”

“See you there.”

And then he was out the door. I was in a total state of shock and awe. I had never been talked to like that by a man before in my whole, entire life. Where I was from, men had the utmost respect for women. They practically worshipped us. No one would even dare think about talking to a lady like that.

But, maybe Michael did have a point. If I could prevent my baby from suffering, shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t I set an example; that I am willing to do anything to keep him safe? If I don’t do anything, does that make me a bad mother? All of those things were running through my head. I feared I had just made the worst decision of my life.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a gentle knock at my door. It was Jason. In a strange way, I was actually kind of glad to see him. He was a friendly face in an ocean of hate and disgust.

“Hey, what do you need,” I asked him, trying to sound as chipper as usual.

“Marshall was busy with another girl and asked me to peek in and check on you.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not a qualified medical professional.” I giggled; he brought the little girl out from inside me.

“I didn’t mean I was going to check your pulse or whatever. I’m just here to make sure everything feels right…ya know, with the baby.”

“Yeah Jason, I’m okay. Physically anyway; mentally, now that’s a whole other story.”

“Wanna go sit outside and talk about it?”

Outside, I hadn’t been there since my first punishment. I grimaced at the thought. There were no good memories anywhere there, but definitely not outside.

“Umm, I don’t think so. I’m really not the outdoorsy type”

“That’s a lie. You love the great outdoors. You’ve said it many times.”

Great, he was one of the few guys who actually listened to what I had to say. I had no way out.”

“Yeah, okay, we can go out for just a little bit but—“

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep you away from the tree.”

“Thanks.”

“Just doing my job. Now come on, let’s get you and your baby some fresh air and sunlight.”

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A/N Also, i think this may be pretty close to the end of No Longer!! BUT, have no fear, I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a sequel. Thoughts??

~Thanks for reading!