Watching the Mockingjay Fall

Chapter 43

Katniss POV
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He's back. My boy with the bread. He is back. He is out of Snow's reach now. He can't hurt him anymore.
Two days later:
...........................
I know that I should be truly greatful for the fact that Peeta is safe. But now, when he's here with me, I feel more alone than ever. I have started to block everyone out. I know that... I should'nt. But it just seems easier for everyone. Everyone I have ever loved has been taken away from me or hurt in one way or the other. Dad...Cinna...Peeta...Prim for having to grow up too fast...My mother for blocking her out for all those years...Rue...all of the other tributes from the 74th and 75th games that had to die because presidant Coin wanted me to be the Mockingjay.
I am awoken from my thoughts from a husky,cold voice. Who it is,is confirmed by what they call me.
''Hey Sweetheart.'' I silently groan. Haymitch.
''Have you seen Peeta Lately?''He asks,but he already knows the answer to that one already.
''Yes...''I Start, but its not true. "No...." I sigh.
"He has been asking for you all morning, you know. His heart looked as if it had deflated when I had told him that the doctors had told me that you had told him that you didn't want any visitors. '' He says, and I roll my eyes.

''Then why are you here, Haymitch?'' I ask.

''To tell you that you should let him see you. Because Katniss.''He sighs.

'' He is out of the Capitol. And the effects that Snow thought would work on him, didn't. So if I were you, I would either go and see him, or invite him to come and see you. Because he needs you Katniss. And I know that you need him just as much as he needs you. And I don't know about you, but I know that he wants you. You can't just block everybody out all of the time Katniss. Because those people need you. Let him see you.¨Haymitch argues.

¨Fine then Haymitch. You go tell Peeta that he can see me.¨I say, letting him win the argument.

"Fine then. Be expecting him very shortly. He has Been Hanging around restless." Haymitch says, groaning as he gets up off the chair. He leaves without another word.
I sigh. I don't want to see Peeta. I have already caused him enough pain. I don't want to cause any more. And I will cause more. I hear the door creek open, and there he is. Peeta. With his hair messy and tangled, and wearing a hospital outfit. He comes in quietly, and stands by the door.
"Peeta." I say softly.
"Katniss." The relief in his voice clear.
"How are you?" I ask quietly.
"Getting better, slowly. "He tells me. "How are you, Katniss?" He asks.
"Fine." I mutter.
"Katniss... I understand that you find it hard to share your feelings to anyone, but maybe if you did, you would feel better." Peeta slowly edges closer to me, and sits on the bed.
" Why do you always have to be the brave one Peeta? The one who can hold it together, even after everything you've been through? Why is it you, who has to pick up the pieces? You are the one who can be strong, even when things are tough. You didn't deserve any of this Peeta! It is because of me, that your family died. My fault that only 915 people made it out of district twelve. And the other ten or so thousand people in our district that died. All the other people in the other districts. Everything. Is. My. Fault." I tell him,tears welling up in my eyes.
I am brought back to life, by Peeta's lips on mine. A rush of emotions flood through my body as fast as wild fire.
When we pull apart, Peeta keeps his forehead on mine, looking deeply into my eyes. I get lost in his, beautiful, delicate eyes.
"Don't you ever think that any of this was your fault Katniss. Because it wasn't. If it is anybodies fault, it is Snows." He pauses, kissing my forehead.
"You are so beautiful, Katniss." He says in a soft whisper. "And smart, and brave, and selfless, and kind- well, most of the time!" I hit his arm playfully.
"Peeta!" I can't help but laugh-just a little bit.
"And that smile of yours, so, so, so, beautiful." He murmers.
''Peeta stop!" I tell him.
"I love you miss Katniss Everdeen.'' He smiles his beautiful smile.
"I Love you Mr Peeta Mellark." I whisper back to him.
"Do... you want to come for a walk with me?" Peeta asks.
"Will we be allowed? I mean, a girl with a mucked up head, and a boy who has just been tortured? "I reply to him truthfully.
"They probably won't let us, if ask... so we won't tell them." Peeta smiles.
"I know a few good supply closets...heating pipes..."I suggest.
"Let's go." Peeta says, grabbing my hand, and leading me out the door.

The supply closet barely fits the both of us, because of Peeta's fake leg, but to be honest I don't mind being cuddled up next time him.
"Katniss, you're so cold." Peeta tells me.
"Yeah. I guess. "My mind starts to wander, thinking about other things.
"Peeta?" My voice breaks the comfortable silence.
"Yes,Katniss?" He replies.
"If I... stay with you... I could end up hurting you- more than I already have. And it would kill me to hurt you any more than I already have. Please don't get mad, but I think that it's best if you stay away from me. I won't let myself hurt you anymore."
I tell him, not looking him straight in the eye.
"Katniss. I am never going to leave you. Never. Because I Love you, too much to let you go. I don't care what you say, I won't leave you." Peeta says.
"I don't want to hurt you-" I mutter.
"Katniss! Enough with the hurting me! If you really don't want to hurt me, then stay with me, Always." Peeta sounds sad on the last few words.
I almost bite my lip to keep me from saying it back to him, but I can't. I can't stay away from Peeta. I just can't. No matter how hard I try, I can't.
"Always." I reply, and we seal the promise with a kiss.