Theres only Juan Mata..

Chapter 27: I'm just not good enough for him.

Chapter 27:

I took my make up off in the bathroom but it didn't go as sweetly as it normally goes, I couldn't keep tears back at the thought of not being good enough for Juan. That's how it normally goes when one of the best friends fall for the other one though isn't it? It's normally 'I don't want to spoil our friendship..' when really they aren't pretty enough or slim enough or something along those lines.

"Nice bath?" Paula smiled making a space for me on the sofa which of course I sat in trying to keep the tears back.

"Yes great thanks! Oh Paula I love you" I smiled trying to hold the tears back.

"Love you too sis" she smiled patting my shoulder gently, I really needed to shed a few tears but to be honest I needed to stay as strong as possible at the minute. "Everyone budge over, Juan needs a seat!"

Juan sat on the right side of me so I was in the middle of him and Paula, Juan had his hand around the lower part of my back which was rested on my left rib. "Ooooh! Look at those two.." Natascha giggled nuzzling Ashley's neck, Ashley was clearly moving on so maybe it was time for me to do the same. I obviously meant nothing to him anymore so all of those things he said to me meant fuck all, I was nothing to everyone in here actually. They tried to convince me I did but it was obvious I didn't, they don't treat me like they treat people like Olalla and Natascha. I wasn't good enough for anyone.

"I think it's time for bed!" Frank yawned. It was 2:48am so yeah I think the legend was right.

"Agreed Frank!" I giggled wriggling out of Juan's grip, "Goodnight boys."

I rushed off to the bedroom and jumped straight into Juan's bed which I wasn't meant to do but I did so anyways, I wonder what Juan will do when he notices I'm in his bed for the second night running. He didn't seem very happy last night actually. I don't think he likes me sleeping in his bed?

"Night Lauryn" Juan mumbled jumping into his bed with his back to me, he obviously wasn't happy about it tonight either. My heart started racing, I just wanted Juan to tell me he liked me. Why couldn't his heart start to race when he's with me like mine does whilst I'm around him?

"Night Juan" I sighed my voice cracking, I turned to face the other side of the room as a tear slid down my cheek which was then followed by another tear, I let out a small whimper but Juan didn't seem to notice as he was on his phone. It looked like he was trying to hide the light by cupping his hand over it whilst he was lying on his side, maybe he was getting close to someone else like Lorena. Maybe everything he did to me tonight was a practice for what he's going to do to some other girl he's in contact with, that is probably what it was you know! It was probably just a practice for when he gets to see another woman he likes, it obviously meant nothing to Juan. Nothing ever bothers anyone if I'm involved because I'm probably seen as an easy target or something I don't know or care. The tears just continued to fall...everything was starting to get to my mind now, maybe it's a part of grieving? I wasn't sure but it was getting me low..

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I was woken up due to a gorgeous smell which smelt a bit like smokey bacon, it was probably Juan or something cooking for everyone! I couldn't cook. Well I could microwave stuff but cooking is just not my thing, Juan can cook better than me and he isn't the best of cooks either.

"Lauryn, you awake?" Paula asked opening my door slightly.

"Yeah yeah just got up" I sniffed trying to wipe away another tear that escaped my eye.

"Wait...why you crying?" She whispered, I didn't even know why I was crying. Oh wait it was the feeling of not being good enough for Juan wasn't it..