Timesplosion

Chapter 2 We Love the G-Bomb

So then we got to their house.

"So this is our home." said Mr.Bigpopalopvich, "as you can see we have a lots of entertainment. We've got a pool table, for shootin' pools, we've got a big ol' tv, but we don't hardly use it no more, we've gots, we've gots this like, we gots a trampoline, then there's a pool, splash splash fun fun, then we have, a, uh, we got a lava lamp. Here are our godzilla movies."

Lil minigorph: "We love the g-bomb!"

"What else do we have, uhm, we have a fun house, we've gots some alcohol, but obviously that's not for you, that's for the grown-ups. Don't touch it. We've got an X-Station 1x4, we have all the hottest racing games, we also have licensed games. Don't worry, they're terrible. We have a toaster oven, we've got NACHOS!!! We have two dogs, but they're always grumpy, leave them alone. We've got, a skateboard, we have a music entertainment system, which provides all of your music needs. We especially like the works of EDC, that's Elerecet Dean Can-can, if you know what I mean, (original idea do not steal), We, uh, there's , we gots a soda machine for dispensing soda. We have all the hottest toys, for children's entertainment, we have guns for our shooting range, we have our own, stylized bowling ball, we'll be sure to get you one too. We have a karaoke machine, it's super nice. We have a movie player, we have a nifty computer. That always comes in handy, we have a popcorn machine, but some people call it a microwave. We have discount vouchers for Red Crab Place! It's delicious, we go every other Friday, We have-

Lil minigorph again: "Did'ya mention the godzilla movies?

Big Daddy: "Yeah I think we got to those. We also have a tan bed so that you can get that hawt summer look gurl. We've got, uhm, we've got the Netflix, that made Blockbuster obsolete. Haha. We have a camera for makin' your own movies, we have a patio, for when you want to go outside, but still be in the comfort of your own home, we have, uhm, dangit I forget, we have a sports utility vehicle, for safe, on the go travel, we have a margarita machine, we have a blender, we have, the Internet, with the fiber optics, we have a sofa, we have several sofas, the lights always work, we have plenty of food in the refrigerator, we've got the iPods and the smartphones, and, uh... I still can't remember the other thing, but it will come back to me, so I guess that's about it. Ignore the screams of agony in the labyrinth of no return, that's just the television. It's always on and we're always watching it."

...

"I literally have no idea what a single one of those items you have just described to me actually is and what they're supposed to do, nor do I have any idea why you would assume that I would be interested in them."-me.

"Well excuse me princess."-cue laugh track.

Big Daddy some more: "Well why don't you march your little butt off to bed missy. We'll speak to you again very soon."

All the minigorphs started laughing suspiciously.

"Oh... Alright." It was ok. I've already accepted my fate. I-I'm not going to make it. My people are dead. I'm trapped in a world I don't understand. Once I die, I get to see my family again. I- this is a good thing.

...

My thoughts were focused solely on my ultimate fate.

"Heh, hehheh." I'm laughing again. Why do I always do that? Why do I always laugh in the face of certain doom?

I always laugh.

Always, in the face of certain doom.

Always in certain doom.

I-I've been here before! I've been at a point where I'm certain I'll die! This is something I've experienced plenty of times before!

"Hehheh."

I'm always here, and I'll just keep coming back here! So why is it never easier? Every time I'm in these kinds of situations, the same thing always happens. I cry. Someone I love is killed horribly. I cry some more. I end up living to laugh and cry another day. I'm the princess... No. I'm the queen! I'm the queen of my people, or, at least, I was, but now I have no more people left. Everyone is dead, and I'm the last one left! As the leader of these men... They deserve better! All of my comrades are dead, but I'm still here! I'm a testament to all that they've fought and died for! I am the child of my people, and if I were to die here, then my people die with me! I can't let that happen! I HAVE TO FIGHT TO PRESERVE MY PEOPLE!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!1!

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"N-n-no... I just wanted a drink of water...."

"Over by the kitchen."

Who am I kidding? I'm just a joke! I don't deserve to be queen! I'm going to die here! I'm going to be eaten by these future minigorphs and no one will miss me.

"Hey-uh- you guys sure do have a lot of weapons..." said I.

"Oh those. Uh, just, just ignore those. Don't worry about them they're for..."

"DECORATION" said minigorphunderling.

"YEAH! Decoration!" said minigorphalpha.

"Oh. Ok." They look just like Phazon guns, but, weird. WHELP! That's the future for ya! Good ol' future, always got a curve-ball to throw at ya!

"GULP!" I drank my water with gusto. Water is so good for a mermaid. Time for bed!