When we last left our gurlz, they acquired some enchanted armor and were off to go rescue Tobias. but, little did they know, the story was going to segue to something completely different for no reason!
Mathews and Madeline were both riding their fake plastic horses on the little sticks, when suddenly they were stopped.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" said some random person, "Who are you two?"
"I AM A KNIGHT!" said brave Madeline, "And this is my squire! We're totally dating!"
"Sweet." said the person who stopped the two.
"I know." responded Mathews.
"Why have you stopped us?" asked Madeline.
"To make sure-" the person said, as he jumped onto Madeline's face and started stretching her cheeks, "TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE ADVENTURE KREW™ BOIZ IN DISGUISE." also, the guy was an Ork.
"OwOwOwStahpStretchingMaiFace!" Madeline cried.
"LEAVE FAIR MADELINE'S FACE ALONE!" Mathews cried, throwing a brick at the Ork. The brick hit Madeline in the head and she got knocked out.
The Ork pulled out its gun, "Now, don't do anything stupid." he said, with a nervous cackle.
"Woah!" Mathews put his hands in the air, "W-Where did you get a-"
"I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!" screamed the Ork, "Now, just give me a second. I just need a second to think."
Madeline picked up the brick that hit her in the head, then she threw it back at the Ork. The Ork shot at the girl, but was then hit by the brick and defeated.
"NOOOO!!!!" screamed Mathews, "MY GURL!"
Madeline laughed, "It's a good thing I totally picked up that enchanted armor before I left."
Returning to the plot, Chryslabum's Adventure Krew™ headed out into the forest to go retrieve Tobias, when suddenly, TWO ORKS HOLDING PISTOLS JUMPED THEM!
"STAHP RITE THERE!" said the Ork, shooting at the girls. Chryslabum was hit, and she took some damage and she lost some health, but she was ok.
"Hey!" screamed Chryslabum, "You can't start the fite until I've pressed the fite button!"
"Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot." the Ork said, bashfully.
"Gee, the nerve of these people." Chryslabum said, shaking her head. Everyone was ashamed of the Ork, even his own teammate.
Chryslabum pressed the "Fite" button and the battle began.
"Eva, you stay in the sidelines," Chryslabum said, "Now that we have some enchanted armor, me and Julie over there can fite."
"My name's Auburn!" Auburn cried.
"Yeah, right, whatever Milkshake. Anyways, you need to save your bullets Eva."
Eva sighed, "Alright, whatever, I guess I can wait."
Chryslabum nodded to Eva, then she turned to the Orks. She pulled out her weapon, and she started whacking the Ork repeatedly with it.
"OW! HEY! THAT HURTS!" cried the Ork.
It was Auburn's turn. She used "Whine" and it, like, totally bummed the Ork out.
"Ah man." said the Ork, "Now I don't want to fite anymore." it fled the battle.
"Don't worry, I got this," said the other Ork, shooting Auburn in the face.
"Ow!" cried Auburn, since the enchanted armor also protected her face.
"MY TURN AGAIN!" screamed Chryslabum, and she started whacking the Ork with her fake plastic sword.
"OWOWOWOW! Ok, stop, I quit!" the other Ork was defeated. It fled the battle, dropping some of its money in the process.
"YAY WE WON!" said Chryslabum. Fanfare music began to play and all the girls gained experience points. They leveled up.
"YAY!!!!" said Chryslabum, "NOW TO ALLOCATE SKILL POINTS!"
Chryslabum allocated all her skill points in "Surfing," Auburn allocated her skill points in "Whining," and Eva allocated her skill points in "shooting things with a gun."
"HEY EVA!" Chryslabum screamed, "HIT US UP WITH SOME OF THOSE HEALING STICKS!"
"On it!" Eva handed both girls some churros, and they ate up, restoring their health.
Meanwhile, back at the noble's manor.
"Hello my son, how are you doing?" asked Tobias's mom.
"I'm sick." Tobias said, dryly. He coughed a little.
"Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that." Tobias's mom said, while she was watching Real Housewives of Vermont, "Why don't you just chew on a healing stick dear?"
"Healing sticks don't heal the sick, mom, they're just cinnamony. I need a doctor!"
"Ah, that's too bad." Tobias's mom said, eating some popcorn, "You know, if you'd never left the house, then I would be here to take care of you. I still don't understand why you went to go live with those serfs. Did you think they were going to teach you how to surf?"
"No, mom, I left because after you became a noble you, and dad, and my brother have all become jerks!"
"Gee, such a whiny emo teenager you turned out to be."
Real Housewives of Vermont continued to be terrible.
YOU ARE READING
Timesplosion
WerewolfChryslabum is the queen of the merpeople! She must choose between two wolds: one, the dark and decrepit world of the past that she is destined to inherit, the other, the seemingly calm and pleasant world of the present that is filled secrets and has...
