Timesplosion

Chapter 15 Petunias and Sea Scalpchins

After finally closing up shop, I decided that it was time to go to bed, when suddenly.

"Hello lass!"

"Jo- Imean... Mr. Grizzly Fauntagious Sebastion Evelyn Bonimoxtrious of the impervious Bonimoxtrious clan, adventurer, weather master, and werewolf hunter extroardinaire! It's you!"

"Oh, uh, yeah... I actually don't go by the old man's moniker. You can just call me "boss.""

"Oh! Ok! Boss. What are you doing here!?"

" I waited for you to come back from school, so that I can show you some of these weapons, but you never showed."

"Oh! Yeah! Hehe... Sorry... I was just helping a new friend on her way back to her home..."

"Oh. I see. Gee, you girls... It's your first day and already your making friends."

"Ehehe."

Joe walked past me on his way out of my room.

"Welp. Sorry for bothering you. I was just thinking to myself and I got a little sidetracked. I guess I'll just see you in the morning..."

"Hehe... Yeah..." I felt real nervous as Joe walked past me.

Well, I guess I'd better go start my homework....

After plenty of homework, I jumped into my bed and stared at the weapons that were in my room. You know? Now that I think about it... How can werewolf hunters fight werewolves if they are transformed into werewolves while all the werewolves that their suppose to fight are all transformed and are werewolf-ing whilst the aforementioned werewolf hunters are werewolves? It doesn't make any sense! Ah! Oh well... I guess I'll learn about that soon enough. I drifted off to sleep. All I dreamed about was Petunias and Sea Scalpchins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

I was awoken quite early in the morning by Jo.

"Lass! Are you awake!? S'rry bout last night! I guess I must've found my way to bed when you didn't show! I was hoping to get you the basics on the implements that werewolf hunters use when they go out huntin' for the beasts!"

"Oh! Uh-huh..."

"Sorry bout, having to wake ya so early... Let's see what we've got here!" Joe brandished a sweet sword! "Ah! The Cutter Ale! How exquisite! What we have here is your standard silver cutlass, however, weapons like these aren't very practical. If you get close to the beast, then you get turned into one yerself!"

"Hm? Oh... Yeah, no, not me. Not mermaids... Sea Mers' don't get turned into Land Wers'."

"What? Really? Huh... I've been doin' this business for more than 50 years and I never once heard that!"

Yeah, well... We're really just making this all up as we go along.

"Hm! Well that is interestin'! Maybe we've found the weapon for you after all!" Joe chuckled.

...

After showing me other weapons that are in no way interesting or plot important, I did the ol, song and dance that is the hectic morning routine of life up here on the surface and headed off to school.

"Hey! New kid!" Eva shouted, "You missed out on a lot of fun last night!"

"Oh did I... Heheh..." Eva certainly is an... eccentric girl...

The teacher shuffled into the classroom all disheveled, looking like he just got thrown into a sack and beaten mercilessly by a tire iron, with smudges of after shave all over his face.

"What!? Wattayall lookin' at?" the teacher had a neurotic and bug eyed look to him.

"You all got you're HOMEWORK today class?" The class looked nervous...

"Good... I want you all to take out your poems, and I want, and I want, and I wantya to crumble 'em up, yeah... Then you're gonna... throw it at the new girl..."

W-what...

The class looked around nervously, some of the kids tried to laugh it off.

"Whattaya lookin around for? Did you just drop your baby in a bowl of chilli and watch as a hobo ate it? Take out your homework and throw it at the new girl's stupid face!"

"B-but I don't want to throw my paper at the new girl..." an intrepid boy squealed.

"Wazzat? You don't want to humiliate the new student on her second day of class? WELL TOO BAD! DO IT!!!"

Everyone began to awkwardly pull their homework assignments from their bag and crumple them up. In the next 5 seconds, I was immediately pelted with crumpled up paper.

"That's what you get! Ok class, for today's assignment I want you to right a 1000 page doctoral dissertation on the anatomy of the bumple backed moose. You have until the end of the period to turn this in..."

Everyone groaned as they took out some paper.

What! I-I spent all night trying to learn how to do a freaking backflip for this! WHAT IS THIS CLASS EVEN SUPPOSE TO BE ABOUT!

I wrecked my fingers to finish that dissertation. I may have went one or two pages overboard, that's how much writing I got done today!

"Hey! New kid!" Eva screamed at me, "Let me read you my poem!" she plucked a piece of paper from my hair and uncrumpled it...

"Fairest New Kid, Your beauty knows no bounds! I long to caress yo-"

Hrrrrrrghhhh... I don't understand this time at all! Why do we have to do all this complex stuff! I never had to do any of this stuff at my old school! At my old school, I only had one teacher, and that was the professor's son! It doesn't make any sense that we have to go from class room to class room!

Brrrnnnggg!!! Time to go to next class!

"What class do you have after this new kid?"

"Hmm? Oh... Just science..."

"Oh that's pretty lame! Well after this I have Fixing Light Fixtures class! See ya!"

"Heh heh... Yeah... Bye!" What kind of a school is this?