Timesplosion

Chapter 13 Uncharted Territory

I sit in my seat and arrange all of my papers. I set up everything to be perfect! Ah, English class! Where students go to learn all of the conventions of reading and writing the English language! Conventions that will serve them later in life, like when they.... Uhm.....

Well anyways, I wonder what kind of wacky characters I'll meet in this class! Maybe we'll get a guy who likes to put pencils up his nose, or a guy who always wears funny clothing! We could see, like, this guy, who, uhm, swears all the time. But not like, actual swearing... More like the *******'s that get peppered around in this story! Maybe we'll have someone who's a caricature of a famous movie star! I'd love to sit in a class room and deal all awkwardly with, like, a Dan Aykroyd expy, or like someone who's suppose to be, uhm, Tyler Perry. Yeah either of those two guys would be funny, plus we don't really have famous movie guy parodies yet. Some good uncharted territory there! Or we could have like Darth Vader show up and he can be the teacher. That seems like something that would happen here. Oh well, whatever happens, you can bet I'll all awkwardly come up and hilariously misunderstand the situation and end up making a fool of myself and start crying. You know. Because I'm a mermaid!

"Alright class! Today we're going to learn about Iambic Pentameter..."

Ok. Good ol' Iambic Pentameter. Not the most hilarious of topics to address, but I bet we could still get some good laughs out of that one!

"Iambic Pentameter is a line of poetry where each line has 5 words, and each phrase's syllables in that line are first unstressed, and then stressed. The name comes from the line itself. An "iamb" being a phrase that has at first an unstressed syllable, then a stressed syllable, such as the word: "exist." The first syllable in the word "ex" is unstressed, meaning that there is not much emphasis put on that part of the word. The second syllable, "ist" is stressed, meaning that part of the word has more emphasis put on it. Another example of an iamb is the beat of the human heart. Pentameter comes from the fact that there are 5 iambs in the verse. An example of iambic pentameter is the line: "Now is the winter of our discontent" from Shakespeare's: "Richard III."

Ok. Not the most comical subject, but I mean, something funny could still happen... Right?

"Now class, I want you to read, "Hamlet," "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and "The Knight's Tale" from Geoffry Chaucer's "The Canterbury Tales," and identify at least 15 uses of iambic pentameter in each work. Turn this in at the end of class."

Dangit...

After my strikingly unfunny English class, I headed off to Math. Wow, first English, and then Math? That's, just, like, the double whammy right there. The two most notoriously hard classes back to back, just like that, weeknights at 7:30, 8:30 central, don't forget to tune in? What cruel twist of faith is it that I have to take both of those classes so close together without even a breather!? Man this is not going to be fun. At least what's her face will be there in my Math class. I never did catch her name. Oh well, I'll get it during roll call.

Brrrrng! Time to start class!

"Iz a Mizz Eva Ceterizaberg here?"

"Here!" my curly haired friend yelled.

Hehe... My teacher's vaguely Eastern European.

"Iz a Mizz Zhunky Goodenbaga here?"

"Here!" said some random girl who probably won't be plot important.

"Okay, zo zhatz everyone! Zo, uhm, juz zome 'ouse keeping, I juz wanted to let everybody know that the math claz annual bake zale waz a rozing zucezz! Everyone, give youselfz a round of applauze!"

Clap clap clap.

Man, that vaguely Eastern European joke certainty did wear out it's welcome fast...