Timesplosion

The Now Defunct Adventures of Serf Chryslabum

"Look, it's great that you want to follow me and become a squire and all, but seriously I need to find my boyfriend." Madeline said.

"What's your favorite color?" Auburn asked Madeline, hugging her closer.

"No, seriously, I need to find my boyfriend."

"NO WAY! MINE TOO!"

Madeline and her fake stick horse and Auburn had become completely lost in the forest and it TOTALLY wasn't Auburn's fault, and Auburn TOTALLY didn't do this on purpose.

"Do you want to go dancing?" Auburn asked Madeline, snuggling up to her.

"Uhm, no.... I'm out on a very important quest." Madeline said.

"Oh yeah?" Auburn said, too mystified by Madeline's beauty to really know what she was saying, "And what would that quest happen to be?"

"GurgleGurlgleGurgle-.... WHA!" Tobias suddenly awoke, his skin having gone pale and his eyes forming red rings around them, "W-Where am I?" he began to look around, "Who are you people... What's going on?"

"Oh, so, you're awake." Mathews said.

"QUIT IGNORING ME!" Eva screamed, "We need to rescue new serf!"

"WE CAN'T!" Mathews screamed back, "Just face facts! Your friend is gone!"

"NO SHE'S NOT! New serf would never die so easy! SHE'S NOT AS FRAGILE AS YOU!"

"WE BOTH SAW HER GET SHOT! There's no way she could survive that. The best thing we could do now is head back to the castle and hopefully my knight is able to meet up with us there!"

"BUT IF WE LEAVE NEW SERF NOW THEN SHE REALLY WILL BE DEAD!"

"LOOK, I'm sorry about your friend, but if we go back now then that Ork will catch up to us! You don't have any armor on, and you don't know how many bullets he has left on that chainsaw-gun of his."

"I DON'T CARE!"

Tobais cleared his throat, "Hey, what's going on? Who are you people?"

"I'M GOING OFF!" Eva screamed, and she turned to head off.

"IF YOU GO BACK OUT THERE THEN YOU'LL DIE!" Mathews retorted, "As a brave squire, there's no way I could let you do that!"

"GO SQUIRE A ROCK!"

"What does that even-"

"Hey! Who are you people?" Tobias repeated, "I swear to medieval god (Christianity was invented by medieval times, you don't have to quantify it like that Tobias!), I keep waking up in all these random situations."

"OH! Yeah, right, you...." Mathews glossed Tobias over, "So I guess some people were looking for you or whatever. Honestly I JUST got here, I know as much about what's going on as you do." Mathews turned to Eva, "HEY! You know about this guy, right?"

Eva turned and eyed Tobias. Her eyes welled up, and she quickly brushed the tears away, then she bolted to Tobias, "YOU KNOW HER, RIGHT? New serf. You should know how tough she is. You should know that it takes more then just one gun shot to kill her!"

"W-Wha? New serf? I know a lot of serfs, who are you talking about?"

"YOUR BEST FRIEND STUPID. Chryslabum."

"Chryslabum?" Tobias looked around, "Where is she? Is she here?"

Mathews looked to the ground, grimly, "I'm afraid that, after rescuing you from that noble's manor, your friend was shot. She died trying to rescue you."