A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.
I squinted my eyes at my laptop. So... I had a panic attack? I always thought those weren't real, like something Hollywood used to make scenes more intense. I took a deep breath and closed it. The wind slipped into my room, causing the curtains to sway a bit. Yejun has been texting me all night, but I didn't respond.
I never knew how real my situation was until earlier.
I picked my phone up and looked at all of his texts. They were so cute, and even though I felt a flutter in my chest, I was scared. I could make things hard for him, I could make him lose his job. He's most likely here on a working visa, he could get deported and banned from re-entering the United States. My hand trembled and I noticed tiny drops on my lap. I wiped my tears and decided to call him. After the third ring, he picked up.
"Hello? Len?" His voice, although playful, held a cautiousness to it. Yejun knows something is wrong. I took a deep breath and felt my voice quiver. Am I about to break up with him over phone? I'm so lame. "Len...?"
"Ye-" I sniffed and covered my sob.
"Len, what's wrong?!" He asked. His voice was so frantic, so caring. I don't deserve a man like this.
"A...Al..." I took a deep breath and continued, "Alaric knows." There was silence over his end. My heart was racing in my ears as I waited for his response. It felt like hours, yet only a couple seconds of silence passed by. My hand trembled and I tried to keep it upright.
"Oh." Was his response. I felt myself get angry. How could he only say 'oh'? He's about to lose his job because of me! He's going to get deported! Alaric hates his fucking guts, he probably already got reported- we probably did.
"Oh? Is that it, Yejun? We got caught." I sniffed and took a deep breath. "I-I... I cannot jeopardize your career."
"What are you trying to say?" He asked.
"Ye-" He cut me off, making me flinch with his words. "Because if you're trying to break up with me, it's not happening. Fuck Alaric and his jealous antics. I like you a lot, Len. You make me happy, and I hope I make you happy. I'm not breaking up with you over something like this. We can be more cautious, I need you."
I felt my voice hitch in my throat. How does one respond to something like that? "Now that we've established that, I'll see you Saturday at 2 PM. Meet me at Washington Square Park, alright? I'll be under the arch."
"Yejun..." I muttered, "I-I... H-"
"Okay, see you then!"
I stared at my phone as it returned to the contacts screen. Is Yejun mad?
--
For the rest of the week, I avoided Alaric. If I saw him, I would blend in with others, or if I was alone, I would slip into a classroom. Yejun and I barely talked, and once we were alone, we would talk as if we never talked before. Honestly, it was stressful. I felt like I would lose Yejun, and the thought alone hurt me. Finally, it was Saturday.
I stared into the mirror. My pants felt loose on me and I frowned at them. What the hell? These are my favorite pair, and quite frankly, I barely wear them. I tugged on them some more and decided to take them off. I decided on leggings and a long sleeve shirt. The middle had a small turtle, like that's so cute. I put my curls in a bun and put on a hat. Looking through my closet, I pulled out my jacket and my oversized knitted scarf. Sighing, I put on my socks and boots and left.
YOU ARE READING
180 Days (TeacherxStudent)
Teen Fiction180 Days: At first, it seems like a long time. But as days go on, you wish time would slow down. You start to wonder if he's worth it, because 180 days later, you'll get your diploma, and you'll never see him again. -- I looked back at Min with a f...
