Learning to Accept (Sequel to Learning to Love) (Discontinued)

Chapter 19

Sorry for such the long wait on an update. I have a million excuses why I haven't updated, but people probably really don't care that much. So let's just get on to the good stuff!

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22 weeks along

I didn't know what to do. My mother just suddenly contacting me shocked me so much that I just didn't know what to do. I haven't even told Liam yet because, even though it has been a week, I still can't wrap my head around the fact she contacted me.

So many thoughts have been going around in my head, giving me a constant headache, my babies being my only comfort.

How can a mother leave her child with such a monster? How can she just leave and not contact me in over a year and then just wiggle her way back into my life like it was no big deal? The best question, though, is how did she know I was even still alive?

My father would have eventually ended up killing me if I didn't leave that house, him. She knew all this, yet she left me! Left me for dead, leaving me to be killed by a man that helped her bring me into this life. I refuse to call him my father anymore because she is no dad. A dad is supposed to love and nurture and take care of their children, not beat and break and bruise them.

Biologically, yes he is my father, but he is no dad. But is my mother really much better than he is? She never laid a hand on me, but she didn't help me when I needed it either. So does she really deserve the title of my mother?

She could have taken me with her, she could have saved me from the constant beatings and misery I had to go through. But she didn't, she didn't even try to save me she, was just interested in saving herself, even though he never once laid a hand on her. She used to stop him from laying a hand on me when I was younger, but that had soon stopped after my sixteenth birthday for some reason.

So, is she really much better than he is?

I should probably still meet with her, see what she has to say, maybe even get some answers from her? She at least owes me that, she owes me closure, closure to move on from that family and start my new one.

Hopefully, I will never be like either of them. I plan to treat my kids well, and give them everything I never had. I would give them the world if I could, but they definitely get something that my parents never gave me, love. I already love them so much and they aren't even here yet, and when they do get here, I am going to remind them how much I love them each and every day.

But, I just don't know what I should do or if seeing my mother would help anything.

This whole situation is just so complicated and confusing and I can't help but let an irritated sigh escape my lips. Calum looked up from his homework to give me a concerned look, but I just responded back with a fake smile. He didn't seem too convince by it, but just shrugged it off and went back to his homework.

We had decided to hang out while our boyfriends were off at their different sport practices. Liam at track, the coach didn't need my help today since they are just doing a long distance day, and Luke is at lacrosse. Calum and I decided to hang out so that we could get to know each other more, since we are going through similar experience. Plus, it's a great way to get homework done, eat tons of junk food (no wonder I'm getting so fat), and I get to tell/prepare him for the wonderful life of being a pregnant teenage boy, not the sarcasm.