Disabled.

Three

Three

That day, she went home with tears in her eyes. 

When her mother had asked her what was wrong, she couldn't get herself to tell her what had happened. The girls whom she had brought together to form their small group had turned on her, as if she wasn't the one who had brought them together in the first place. 

She looked outside the window for the duration of the car ride home, trying to hold in the tears in front of her mom but she failed horribly. And although her mother tried to start a conversation multiple times, she didn't say anything─she couldn't get herself to.

As the car jerked to a stop, Nadia felt herself sigh inwardly before she pushed herself off. After locking the car, her mother walked behind her to push her wheelchair like she always did. But as soon as she did, Ashley's words repeated in Nadia's mind:

You can barely get anywhere without one of us pushing you

Her eyes stung as she opened her mouth to stop her mother.

"I can push myself," she told her, placing her hands on the push ring and wheeling herself. She didn't hear movement until she was almost at the door. And even though she didn't say it, she could tell that her mother was surprised at her action.

Her mother opened the door and she pushed herself inside before she heard her mother walk in and close the door. Without saying anything to her, she made her way into her room and closed the door behind her. And as soon as she heard the door close, she felt the tears finally leave her eyes.

At the sound of a knock on her door, she quickly wiped away her tears. She heard the door handle jiggle as her mother tried to open it but she continued to stay behind the door, keeping it from being opened.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" she heard her mother's voice from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine," she managed to choke out.

"But I heard crying." 

Her mother pushed the door.

"I'm fine, mom. Please, just leave me alone."

She heard the sound of the door handle as it was released. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before her mother spoke again.

"Dinner will be ready soon." 

And the sound of her footsteps immediately followed.

She pushed herself towards her vanity and looked at herself in the mirror. As she looked at her reflection, from the puffy red eyes and smudged makeup to the body in the wheelchair, she knew that she had never hated the way that she looked as much as she did at that moment. 

Ashley and Chris' words came back to haunt her once again and she couldn't stop herself from throwing her hairbrush at the mirror and causing a small crack as she screamed.

How could she show her face to us? Especially after what happened with Jackson 

If I were her, I'd never come back. She can't possibly expect us to be friends with her when she's a handicap.  

Immediately, her bedroom door swung open and her mother and father both entered.

"What's wrong Nadia?" her father asked, rushing towards her with her mother in tow. But she didn't reply. All she could do was continue to look at her frail body in the mirror, finding herself agreeing with their words with every second which passed.

How could she have been so blind to believe that her friends would accept her the way that she was? All she'd do is slow them down.

She felt her mother wrap her arms around her in a tight embrace as the tears continued to pour.

---

Despite what had happened the night before, Nadia forced herself to go to school the next day. She wasn't sure if it was because she was determined to stand up to them or not, but she couldn't get herself to stay at home. 

As the door of the accessible van opened, she wheeled herself towards the ramp and outside the car.

"Are you sure about this sweetie?" her mother asked, visibly worried. She nodded her head and attempted to put on a brave face.

"I'll be fine, mom."

Her mother sighed and nodded before closing the door and heading to the driver's side of the car. She silently pushed herself towards the entrance of the school, ignoring the whispers and stares. But as soon as she entered the building, she felt dread fill her heart.

"And there she is, the handicap," she heard someone announce. She swallowed the lump which had formed in her throat and continued to push herself towards her locker. 

When she got there, she instantly recognized her friends standing at the neighboring locker, engaged in a conversation. As she got closer, they stopped and looked at her. She ignored them and continued on. And as she reached her locker, she heard them whispering and heard one of them insult her.

"What a loser." 

And as soon as those words reached her, she heard them laugh.

She stopped and pushed herself away, going in the direction of the washroom as she tried her best to keep the tears from falling. With blurry vision, she entered and quickly made her way to the accessible stall and closed the door. She stayed beside the toilet as the tears fell freely, no longer trying to hide it.

She cried and cried, completely ignoring the sound of the bell once it rang.

As she cried, the door of the stall swung open suddenly to reveal a slim girl. She looked up to find her looking at her worriedly.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked.

"What do you want?" she replied rudely. 

"Y-you left the door open..." the girl trailed off. She quickly looked away from her and rapidly wiped her tears.

"Can you please leave?" Nadia asked, not wanting the girl to continue to look at her in her current state.

"But─"

"Please!"

"Just leave me alone."

***

[edited - 2019/06/27]