My Fucked Up Life

Chapter 18)

I strip down my cloths and get into the shower for the second time today letting the hot water burn my skin
Impossible"

"I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did" I sung quietly rubbing the soap down my arms and across my chest.

"And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did" I sung louder letting my hair out of my pony tail

"And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them" I sung to myself,to My parents and most of all to Ashton

"Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible" I let my emotion leak into my singing

"Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worse
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know..."not that I ever feel out of love with Ashton

"Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know...

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them" I belted

"Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible" I let tears fall

"I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible" I finished sinking down to the floor quietly crying.

Do my parents hate me that much that they can't even stand to be I. The house that they have to leave for four ducking months a sob escapes my lips as I cover my mouth with my hand.

After a while I started rocking slightly,
I just want a normal family, one where mums always coming dad comes home from work and spends time with us,i want a dad to be protective over me I want my mum to help me get ready for my dates,i don't have that.
And I know a lot of people don't have parents at all but I think it's harder knowing they are there but not there for you.

It hurts.

A knock in the door "Tara?" Ashton's voice came though the door
"Ashton" I said my voice shaky,he picked up on it,a second later I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.
"Tara,baby, look at me" I said slowly my eyes meet his."come on" he stood up turning the shower off.
Ashton wrapped a towel around me picking me up bridal style.
All I could do was nobly cuddle up to him as cry.

We entered my bedroom Ashton laid me down on my bed.
"What's going on with you tar?" He asked quietly
"Everything" I whispered staring at the wall "my parents can't even stand to be around me,the fuck up daughter, everything I say to you just fucks up,and all I want is you, and to top it all off Kyle's back" I say
"Who is Kyle?" He asked,a sob made it's way up my throat and curled into a ball on my bed "I'm sorry,I'm so so sorry" he whispered. we laid there for god knows how long me just crying into his shirt.
"Ashton?" I ask
"Yeah"
"Please don't leave me again,even if I fuck up, because I always fuck up,gut I'm trying,its been rough for a while,but I'm working on it, but i can't lose you ,not again,and I know I'm difficult and I don't mean to be a bitch,well not to you at least,it's just so messed up in my head at the moment an-" he cut me off with a kiss I roiled so I was underneath him,
The kiss was rough, passionate,we were both fighting for air.
"I promise" he whispered into the kiss,i grabbed him by the shirt needing him closer his weight was pushing me into the mattress but that didn't matter,there was too much space between us.
I pull Ashton's wet shirt off,running my hands down his back. he broke the kiss leaving a trail if kisses down my neck. I let out a low moan pulling his face back to mine.he rolls is over so I'm on top of him now,i break the kiss,slowly kissing down his chest, with a smile he rolled me back underneath him as I pull his pants off.
"You sure about this?" He asked
"I-I just need you" I say grabbing his face
"Wait" I sayid leaning over to my draws and pulling out a condom "that might be useful" he mummers,
I sallow a bad memory and bring his face back to mine,he traced his hands down my body feeling all my curves kissing down my stomach,his hand cups my sex,i bow my back pushing down on his hand needing more "Ash"i moan
"I know baby" he whispers slipping one finger inside of me,nit nearly enough,he slips a second finger in.
"Ash" I say again,need laced my voice
"Fuck in he mummers pulling out of me he pulled back as I lay panting, he slips on the condom and lays back taking a bulk of the weight into his elbows,
"You okay?" He asked, all I could do was nod as he slowly slipped into me,"fuck tar" he moans readying his head agest mine "you all good" he asked
"Yeah" I pant he starts moving slowly
"I'm here,always" he says eyes boring into mine
"I know" I smile.
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That got steamy *fans self*
Well I said next update this week but I'm bored so here you go.

If the chapters seam really short that's because I'm writing this on my phone 📲
Laters
Sarah Xx