My Fucked Up Life

Chapter 30)

Two weeks later.
It's been two weeks since everything happened with Kyle. I've been sitting with Amelia. we don't talk,i sit with her at lunch, I'm usually reading,which is for because she dose the same, we have gotten pretty close for people who don't speak.

Ben will sit with us, he tends to stare at Amelia, he went out and brought her a note book, so she can write in it when he asks her a question, it's really sweet I think.

I've also been spending a lot of time at my grandma's, I haven't spoken to anyone at home, or spoken Period.
My neck has healed, along with my ribs.

I haven't been home in a week. I can't stand to look at Ashton, I mean what type of a freak punches the person they love.

Me. that's who.
Don't think I don't feel horrible, I hate myself so much for doing it to him.

"Have you got dance today?" My gran asked, I nod picking up my bag. I have to stop by home and grab my point shoes and a pair of leggings. I kiss my Gran on the cheek and walk out. The door. I chuck my stuff in the front seat. pulling out the driveway and heading home.

I pull into the drive way, everyone's cars are here. I take a deep breath picking up my bag and heading inside.

I hear voices in the kitchen and the living room. I walk upstairs and into my room.

Sussie: Hey Tara, I can't make it today, I have a date! Wish me luck. sorry for the short notice.

Me:that's fine,have fun on your date. hope you get lucky ;)

I go though my closet until I find my point shoes.
I'm doing three routines one on which I require my points. I pick up a pair of leggings nod change into them before heading back down stairs.

I walk into the basement,my mum converted it into a mini dance studio.

I know what you're thinking.
Tara has a music room and a dance room,poor Ben.
Not to fear,he has a gym and a Xbox room.

I flip on the lights an make my down the stairs closing the door behind me.
I make my way over to the sound system and plug in my phone, I put on my points, taking a few minutes to get used to them again.

I start the song.
I've missed this.
~*~
"Tara? you in here" Ben calls from the top of the stairs, he walks down mid dance. he waits until I finish before he starts talking. "where have you been?"
I don't answer
"Tara,please, I've barely seen you for the last two weeks,i get you've had things going on, but you're my little sister,you can't keep running away every time things get hard" he lectures
"I'm not running" I croak out, after two weeks with no talking it feels weird to start again.
Ben freezes "y-you spoke,about time" I shake my head and start my music.
"you're dancing again,that good" h says I nod going though the steps. I try to do the turn but stumble.
"Help a girl out" I say, he walks over to me holding my waist loosely as I slowly do the turn on my points. slowly he let's go.
I nail the turn on the tenth try.
I smile
"You staying tonight?" He asked quietly
"Gran,I have to get my stuff but sure I'll stay" I whisper my throat aching. he nods,
"Okay,yeah,cool. you do that" I laugh at his weirdness (it's a word)
~*~
I walk upstairs into the kitchen,pulling a bottle of water out of. The fridge
"Hey be- oh Tara, hey you're back" Mia says, I'm still a bit sour on her,i give her a nod and he's up to my room. "Tara wait" she calls, I turn on my hill "sorry" she breaths out "I shouldn't have snapped at you, it was out of line" she says not meeting my eyes.
"Yeah,it was" I walk te rest of the way upstairs, I will forgive her. just not right now.

I mean who turns on their best friend when they need you most. I get they were upset,but that still dosen't give them the right to be like they were.
"Tara" mason calls from behind. I turn and face him "would it be okay if I use you dj decks?" He asked hopefully. I nod "thanks" he hugs me, I flinch but return the hug. he walks into the music room.

I walk into my room to find Aston sitting on my bed. I blink as he looks up. he stands up.
"Hey" he says quietly, I meet his eyes.he looks just about as bad as me. he had dark rings around his eyes,he is pale, I look at his jaw,the mark where I hit is gone. I look down. "where have you been?"
"Grandma's" I whisper. "I-I couldn't be here" I stare at the ground.
"Tara" he places a finger under my chin,"look at me" I hesitate but meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry I hit you,i-I just freaked out" a tear leaks down my face "I get if you hate me, even I hate me,im not bette than my farther" I shake my head
"Tara" he says sternly "I don't hate you, I get it, I was a dick, I yelled at you about kyle, I didn't let you talk, everything shot to hell, then I shouted at jake. it was just a bad day" he says "I wanted to talk to you, I was walking to the cafe when jake ran past, I wanted to explain" he said
"Explain what?"
"When you walked into my room,whe. Katie was kissing me,it wasn't how it looked" I took a step back shaking my head "please just listen" he pleas I nod, "our parnets are friends,her family came over,she came up to my room,said her mum baked cookies for us to eat,and you know me,i never turn down cookies" I let out a small laugh "I didn't know they had pot in them"
What! "she drugged you!" I screech
"When she kissed me, I was laying on my bed laughing about sonething,she climbed in my lap and kissed me, I didn't kiss he back, I pushed her off,threw her cloths at her and told he to leave, I may have been high as fick but I still loved you"
Loved past tense.
"I didn't sleep with Kyle, as you know I was still very much in love with you" I said quietly "I'm still very much in love with you" I whisper meeting his eyes. "I love you" I whisper, I search his eyes for a sign,for anything.
"I love you too" he whispers kissing me. I pull back shaking my head.
"I-I'm sorry, I've gotta go" I turn and run out if my room.

I can't go there again. it's not just me that hey affected, it's Ben who gets affected by my moods,who gets affected by his friends moods,jake,Gavin and the girls who sit though the pain with me.

I can't put anyone though my pain again.