My Fucked Up Life

Chapter 25)

"And another one bites the dust
Oh why can I not conquer love?
And I might have thought that we were one
Wanted to fight this war without weapons

And I wanted it, I wanted it bad
But there were so many red flags
Now another one bites the dust
Yeah, let's be clear, I'll trust no one

You did not break me" that's right dad I'm still here
"I'm still fighting for peace

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart

I've got an elastic heart
Yeah, I've got an elastic heart" after every beating every hot I stood back up not cowering down

"And I will stay up through the night
And let's be clear, won't close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I'll walk through fire to save my life

And I want it, I want my life so bad
I'm doing everything I can
Then another one bites the dust
It's hard to lose a chosen one" I lost him but maybe it's for the better, it's meant to make me strong.

"You did not break me
You did not break me, no
I'm still fighting for peace

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart" I pour all the emotion from this morning from all my pain filled phone calls, my talk with Ben, I sing for the girl I lost the day he first hit me, I sing for the farther I lost, the loving fun dad I will never get back, I sing for the strength it's given me.

"Oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh"

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart

I've got an elastic heart" a single year falls down my cheek, wipe it aways before any one can see it,
"Tara,please explain what that song was about" Sammy asks, I nod
"It's about a girl and her farther, her farther made her life hell,bit she pulled though,she didn't break" I offer
"Dose she still love him?" He asked looking concerned
"I'm sure Sia still loves her farther" I say
"Okay,thats all,take a break guys" he tells the class a they break into discussion.

I make my way off the stage down to my group, avoiding eye contact.
"Hey guys, I've gotta run, I'm fling in for Mic,she is gonna catch up with Lilly" I smile
"Why?" Gavin asked
"I offered" I say slinging my bag onto my shoulder,
"You offered,why?" Ashton asked
"Why do you think" I said walking over to Sammy
"Hey Sammy, thanks for dropping me home last night, I was a bit if a mess" I avoid eye contact,
"Walk with me" he says I nod following him
"Now that you're sober I am going to ask what's going on, but first I want you to know I'm here, if you just want a chat,you're a good girl Tara,now what's going on?"
I take a deep breath and let out a sigh,
"As you know me and Ashton dated, we dated for eleven months, but we broke up three months ago" he nodded "h-he slept with k-Katie" I choke out, Sammy stopped walking and faced me
"Katie? In my class Katie?" I nod "that bitch, guess who is failing her next test" i laugh, I'm not sure I he's joking or not"go on"
"I went to his place,i know his parents, they knew me it was normal for me to drop in, anyway I walked into his room, she was sitting on his lap K-kissing him, they didn't notice me there, I left without a word,y'know what was I meant to do, I went back to the cafè I work at, broke down to Mic, long story short I dumped him. he kept lying, I'm not stupid, I know what I saw" I take a deep breath " the last three months have been hell for so many reasons, a week after me and Ashton broke up I went to a party, I met this guy K-Kyle, I was talking to him, h-he did something, something horrible, I don't want to get into that at the moment " I shakes head feeling the tears fall down my face."Jake found me,saved me, in a way. after my parents found out, I was treated as someone my dad had to put up with,my mum barely talked to me for weeks, m-my 'farther' started hitting me" I say quietly,looking at the ground " told me I was lying,attention seeking." I laughed bitterly "when I didn't even tell them, I never brought it up, but I was the attention seeking whore, a lot of problems sprouted from there"

"Why were you out last night?" He kept a straight face,
"Ashton found out something, he won't let me explain, I didn't lie, I guess in a sense I did but it's not what he thinks, I I didn't want it, I cried and screamed, I had no choice, it's not my fault, how was I meant to tell him, he would flip, treat me different, like I'm dirty" I rant

"Tara, what happened with Kyle?"
I look at him tears pouring down my face "why were you crying and screaming,what didn't you have a choice in"
"I didn't want to" I shake my head
"Didn't want to what?" He pushed on
"Have sex with Kyle" I sob, Sammy wrapped his hands around me.
"H-he kept saying, I was leading him on, he kissed me, I was drunk, H-He r-raped me"
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A/N
There it is, I'll try have the next chapter up tonight, I have to write it first,
Okay,ill go do that,

Laters,
SarahXx.