My Fucked Up Life

Chapter 22)

So life sucked,then it got better,now it's my own personal hell.
Now I walk around the empty streets late at night with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand the rain stopped bothering me hours ago,but I'm still hurting, which is incredible considering how numb I am at the moment.

I take another swig of jack as it burns my throte,this small pain is bare able.
This pain is good.
This pain makes the other pain go away,just for a little while,which is what I need at the moment.

So why are you walking around in the rain drinking? You ask.

"Ashton please let me explain" I plead as I walk into his bedroom
"no need, it's fine, it's just me you lied to, I'm no one important" he scoffs walking past me
"I didn't lie" I say
"WELL YOU DIDN'T DENIE IT EITHER" he shouted making me flinch
"DONT SHOUT AT ME!"
"I don't know what's worse, you lie or you lie about lying" he throws his hands up.
Just that moment Everyone walks in
"What's going on?" Jake asked
"Why is she crying? What the fuck did you do?" Ben hisses
"Me? No benny boy I didn't do anything this is all her" he says not taking his eyes from me
"I'm not lying" I whisper
"So you didn't have sex with Kyle" he says I hear Ben gasp, I didn't say anything
"Ashton,you need to let her explain,be mad at her, not about this" Ben says quickly
"So it's true YOU FUCKING LIED" he should in my face making me stumble back
"DONT FUCKING YELL AT HER" Ben shoved him
"What ever, this is fucked"
"I didn't lie" I repeated quietly closing my eyes shaking my head "I-I Ash, pleas-"
"Don't,Don't you dare Ash me." he says
"Please" I whisper opening my eyes
"Dude you two need to talk" jake said "this isn't what you think" he wrapped his arms around me
"It's pretty clear, why the fuck are you Hugging her,what is she fucking you to"

That was it. my heart gone.

Before I knew it jakes arms were gone from around me ad his fist connected with Ashton's face
"JAKE,NO" I yell
Ashton lifted his hand to his bleeding nose
"Don't speak to her like that"
"Whatever I'm out" he said walking out if the door.

There you have it.
Ashton walked out in me, he wouldn't let me explain. I didn't lie, I mean yeah in a way I did but. AHHHH this is so fucked up.

That was six hours ago.
Now I have no idea what time it is.
Where I am
Or what I'm gonna do now.

I take a left as a car passes and stops I keep my head down walking faster
"Tara?" A voice said, I turn to see Sammy
"He Sammy" I grin
"What are you doing out here in the rain?"
"You know just spending some quality time with jack" I said rasing my bottle,
"Get in" he shakes his head
" But the rain is sooo beautiful" I wine
"Get in" he repeats
"Argh,fine" I say getting in the car

~*~
"I'm not going to ask what happened" he said as we pulled up at my place "but Tara you are better then this" he says parking the car
"No I not,sammy look at me Ashton hates me now jake hit him Mason is going to hate me for hurting his brother, my parents hate me. I even hate me"
I lean my head agest the head rest
"I'm not going to act like I know what's going on, I won't lie and say it's going to be okay, it's going to get worse before it gets better but Tara everything happens for a reason.dont let other people define who you are don't let a boy make you feel like this, Tara you are better than this." He states firmly
"Thanks sammy" I say getting out of te car walking up the pathway bottle still in my hand. Sam waited until I was inside before leaving.

I take a breath and unlock the door stumbling in
"Thank god, there you are where have to been? I've been looking for you, do you know how worried I've been" Ben says as I close the door
"Like I said before, spending quality time with jack" I slur
"Are you drunk?" He says
"A little bit, but don't tell Ben" I say holding my thumb an my finger close together.
"We will talk about this tomorrow,juat give me this" he says stanching my jack
"Hey!"
"And go to bed" he demands
"Fine bean bag cause you asked so nicely" I pout walking up the stairs.

I wish I could say sleep came easily,
That I didn't cry my self to sleep.

But I wouldn't want to lie.
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A/N
Two chappys In one day woop woop
I have no life, it's sad really

Laters
SarahXx.