Size doesn't matter with love. M.C

67

School continued for three weeks, Michael and I skyping every day. Yet I didn't tell him the negatives of what was going on.

Dad was coming home with a new woman every night, keeping me up to all hours of the night due the loud noise.

People at school were constantly reminding me of my weight, not in a good like what Michael would do, day in, day out, it was in a bad way.

The constant notes thrown at me, asking me if I had to get my clothes specially designed to fit me, which I found pathetic, asking me what i ate for breakfast and dinner the previous day and so on.

Some idiot found out I was with Michael, which made matters worse than it was.

And that's when i knew that Michael was so far away, i needed some kind of an addiction. So that's what i ended up with.

I came home one after, on the verge of tears. I walked into my room and stripped down to my underwear - the black lace set that drove Michael wild.

I was crying now, i slid down the back of door. I couldn't skype or text Michael, he was in school, he can do anything to help.

And that's when I knew I had to meet up with an old 'friend'.

I opened the last drawer of my bedside table, a box full of things I swore i'd never press against my skin again. The cold metal blade that I starred at in tears.

"Just do it." The voice in my head said.

I held it against my upper thigh and slid it across, the pain felt different from other times. It didn't feel pointless or bad. It felt fucking good.

One line, Two lines. Three lines.

I put the blade back in the box full of other bloody blades.

"Eat." The voice told me now. "Eat Eat Eat."

I put on some sweats and a hoodie and heading for the pantry, grabbing bags of chips and lollies. I grab coke from the fridge, cold pizza and that extra large chocolate cake dad got from that brunette last night.

I ran back to my room and sat on my unmade bed stuffing myself like the fat pig I was.

I ate till I threw up, realizing what I had done.

I headed to the bathroom, curious of my weight since. I hadn't weighed myself since the doctors.

321

I broke down in tears. That can't be right?? I was 306 pounds a month ago. I can't have put on 15 pounds in a month!!

I hear that sound from my laptop. It was Michael skyping me. The last thing I needed right now.

I cleaned up my face before opening the skype call.

"Hi princess." He waves into the camera.

"Hey Mikey."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" I say.

Shit.

"You look upset."

"I'm just tired."

"You sure babe? Whats up."

"Michael -"

"Whats wrong baby? You're worrying me."

"Schools just been hard and stuffs been going on and yeah."

"Whats going on at school?"

"Well I obviously got bigger over summer and I'm getting so much shit about it and stuff isn't fitting and all these rumors are going round and they somehow know I'm dating you."

"Don't listen to them, You're fucking beautiful."

I smile.

"I miss you Mikey." I say nearly in tears again.

"I miss you more baby. Look, what else is going in because i know some thing's not right."

"I gained weight." I sighed. "15 more pounds."

"Oh baby it's okay. Just another 15 pounds for me to love."

"Another 15 pounds for me to hate."

"Babe don't worry. I miss you kitten."

"I miss you Mikey."

"I have to go now sorry, I have homework."

"Its okay." I sigh. "Bye baby."

"Bye beautiful. I'm here for you."

But he isn't. He's across the fucking ditch.