Burglar- l.h pt.4

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A/N: if you got upset because of what happened in part 3 well you're done fucked now.

Awesome writer of this: lukesmutonly

I stood staring down at another letter. Luke had been sending me letters since the visit. A lot has happened between then and now, it'd been roughly 6 months and I'd moved out, gotten a job and more importantly gotten a boyfriend. I'd be lying if I were to say it wasn't hard, it was incredibly painful and the constant flow of letters from Luke didn't help. Every time I visited my parents there was always a short stack of envelopes awaiting my arrival. I made an effort to read them all, or at least attempt to, hoping one day I'd open a letter and read about how he no longer cared and had moved on. Sadly, that was never the case.

The letters were always a combination of apologies, begging to take him back and promises of a better future. I was really taken back by how passionate he was about me, it had only been four months, granted, four incredible months but I didn't realise the extent of his feelings for me. In his most recent letter he had outlined arrangements for his second permitted conjugal visit, begging me to come, just for an discussion about it all. I had reconsidered my decision a thousand times, trying to convince myself to go back to him, but I had to stay strong. I knew deep down that Luke was bad news, he'd just hurt me. Besides, I was with Jeremy now.

For some reason I didn't have the same concern that Jeremy would hurt me like I did for Luke. I kept trying to convince myself that it was because I thought Jeremy would never hurt me, but deep down, I knew it was because I wouldn't care even if he did. I'd desperately tried to replace the feeling I had with Luke but it just didn't work, what I had with Luke was exciting and dangerous and passionate. What I have now is safe and reliable and although it's far less enjoyable, it's the safest path to take.

One line from Luke's most recent letter kept running through my mind. 'Please, just come and talk, you owe me that much'. He was right, I really hurt him and he needed to know why, I owed him an explanation. So I decided to attend the visit that Luke had arranged. I walked through the cold corridors of the prison, anxious to see Luke again, to be truthful, I wasn't sure if I had the will power to keep myself away from Luke. I've never felt so physically, emotionally and sexually compatible with someone in my entire life, I wasn't sure if I could hold myself back. I just had to remind myself about how it was a bad idea and that I had a boyfriend.

I sat on the edge of the small bed, debating on whether or not I should just leave. My nerves were eating away at my confidence. Finally, I heard noise at the other side of the door and watched intently as it slowly opened. I stood up from the bed, aiming for a stern and serious posture. His eyes widened and his face lit up as he saw me. He looked exhausted and sleep deprived, I just wanted to engulf him in a big hug and tell him everything would be ok, but I couldn't. I opened my mouth to speak but was shortly cut off, "I thought you wouldn't come" he breathed, marching towards me. Before I had time to stop him, he had caught my face in a gentle hold, moulding his lips to mine. Just like that, my previous intentions melted away.

I had every intention of having a sensible conversation with Luke, keeping it platonic as long as I didn't have any physical contact with him. Unfortunately my plans were now soiled and I knew there was no way I could refuse Luke now. Our lips moved together perfectly in a way mine and Jeremy's never did. My body felt right pressed against his, a feeling I so desperately attempted to replace but I could never seem to duplicate the sensation of our bodies intertwined. Our lips separated and my eyes opened to see him staring back at me, his hands still cupping my face. This was my chance to separate myself from him, I had to push him away. Instead, I grabbed him by the back of the neck, slamming his lips back onto my own. Every thought of Jeremy and what I'd came here to discuss leaving my mind instantly.

His hands found the the skin of my stomach underneath my shirt, moving upwards to take the shirt off and expose my chest to him. My hands were busy unzipping his orange jumpsuit and slipping it off his broad shoulders. Before I had ever considered what we were doing, we were both entirely bare, our bodies pressed firmly against one another's, my back against a cold concrete wall. His arms scooped me up easily as my legs wrapped around his tall frame. Our lips remained intertwined as he carefully lined himself up with my entrance. I moaned against his lips as he slowly pushed into me, being a lot more gentle than I remembered him to be.

Sex with Luke and I was always hard and fast, very rarely was it slow and loving like it was then, but nonetheless, still incredible. "Fuck babygirl, you're even more beautiful than I remembered" he moaned as his thrusts found a steady, slow pace. One of his hands came up to brush some hair out of my face as we stared at each other deeply. "Did you miss your daddy?" He questioned, hope laced in his voice. My breath hitched at his words, within all the technicalities I had forgotten his pet name. I forgot how crazy it drove me and how good it sounded as it dripped so freely off his tongue.

"Yes daddy, I missed you so much" I moaned truthfully. "God princess, daddy missed you, so fucking much, you have no idea" he confessed, hiding his face in the crook of my neck, laying small kisses there. Our bodies rocked together in harmony, small waves of pleasure growing larger as my climax approached. One of my hands was laced into his silky hair while the other had a firm grasp on his thick bicep. His movements gained speed as we both came closer to our highs. Just as my orgasm erupted within me, so did a devastating realisation. What was I doing? I had a boyfriend? A boyfriend who could never make me feel the way Luke was making me feel now, but still.
I was definitely making things worse. My overall decision hadn't changed and by doing this with Luke, I was just feeding him false hope, which would make telling him even more heart breaking. There was just something about when his lips touched mine, I just couldn't keep myself from him. His hips continued to rock into mine, riding me through my high whilst he approached his. He came within the next few thrusts, chanting a chorus of 'I love you's as he did. Our bodies melted against each other in a pool of heavy breathing and sweat. He scooped me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style over to the bed.

He laid me down, climbing into the bed beside me. I lay there, racked with guilt, thinking about how I was going to tell him that we couldn't be together. I sat up on the bed, breaking myself from his embrace, looking down at him as he stared up at me with a confused expression. "Look, Luke..." I started hesitantly. "Oh no, please don't, don't do this to me again" he begged, his face twisting with worry. I felt so incredibly guilty, I looked down at him with apologetic eyes, seeing that his were beginning to well up with tears. I decided it was best to get off the bed and dress myself, knowing that I might need to leave any minute.

"That...what we just did, isn't why I came here" I stated, slipping my shirt over my head. I looked over at him hesitantly, seeing his knees tucked up to his chest, his face buried in his arms. I didn't know how he was reacting until I heard the light sobs escaping his body. "I'm sorry Luke, it's just not a good idea, besides, I have a boyfriend now..." I rambled on in an attempt to defend myself, before being cut off. "What?" Luke asked, raising his head to let me see his tear stained face. "You have a boyfriend?" Luke sniffled. I nodded in reply, ashamed to speak. "Does he know you're here, doing this, with me?" he challenged, I shook my head.

"In my defence, that wasn't why I came" I protested gently. He stood up from the bed, pacing over to me, catching my face in his strong hands in a similar way to how he had when he first entered the room. "Forget him" he pleaded, "we could be so happy, whatever you want, I'll do it, I'll make you the happiest woman alive, please, I love you" he begged emotionally. It ripped my heart in two and took all the courage I had to break myself away from Luke, shaking my head as I walked backwards towards the door. The truth was, I couldn't trust him and if I knew that his promises were guaranteed, I would have said yes in a heartbeat, but I don't know that. I didn't have the courage to invest in something so risky and so potentially damaging.

He fell against the wall, sliding down it to sit on the floor, his face hidden in his hands as I reached the door. His body shook lightly with the sobs escaping his chest. "I'm sorry Luke" I whispered quietly as I left with tears flooding my own eyes.

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