To Find You (Harry Styles)

Relapse

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OLIVIA POV

It was a unanimous agreement that this dress was the one. Louis loved it, I loved it, heck even the entire staff of the store, including Kynn, loved it.

"Lou! Is this the surprise? A nice new dress?" I asked curiously.

"Hell no," he said while laughing.

I sighed and trudged back to the dressing room.

We placed an order for the dress up at the front desk after I slipped on my shitty clothes.  I exchanged phone numbers with Kynn, she seemed like a good person and I really needed to make some friends here in London.

"Bye Kynn!" I said while giving her a brief hug.

"Bye Liv! Hope to see you around." she said while smiling.

I smiled one last time and then headed outside with Louis trailing behind me. I slid on my sunglasses to prevent me from going blind form the paparazzi's flashes. They yelled comments at me such as:

"You guys are so cute together! Now look over here."

"Take off your sunglasses Liv! Lemme see them pretty eyes."

'What the hell are wearing?!"

I laughed out loud at the last one. I even had to clutch onto Louis's shoulder for support as I almost sank to the ground. We were still only standing on front of the store. After a few moments, I stood back up still chuckling a bit. 

I recognized a face in the crowd of photographers. There was one specific camera man who I had come to converse with in the past few weeks. The only reason he was a pap was because he was a single dad and needed the money. He hated invading people's privacy, and I appreciated that.  I always tried to give him the best pictures of the day. I couldn't stand to see him not come back for more.

I motioned for him to come towards me. He saw me notice him and gladly came forward. I smiled directly at the lens of the camera. I did a couple more poses before Louis said we had to go. I still had to get everything ready for Madison's visit.

I walked towards the car with him beside me and hopped into the seat after he opened the door for me.

While we were in the car I had a sudden thought.

"Louis, who were you on the phone with last night?"

He paused for a moment. "Just some of the boys."

"Which ones?"

"All of them," he said. "They were at Niall's place. He wanted to see how you were holding up after yesterday morning."

My heart stung at those words. Harry didn't even call. He was just there.

"Was Harry there? Did you talk to him?"

" He talked to me through Liam. He's...mad at me for letting you go out alone."

"I can take care of myself," I snapped.

Harry had no right to tell me how to live. He wasn't even in the same country as me. I was perfectly fine without him. Wasn't I? At least I thought so, but I knew I wasn't.

Your mind tries to tell your heart how to feel. Most of the time it works. If you don't want to feel sad, then you just think of happy things and then you're not sad anymore. I had tried countless times to try to feel happy around Louis and not think about  him.  But it was no use. 

He was my happiness.

No matter how much I didn't want him to be. 

He would always be there.

"Hey," Louis said softly."What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"What was with you earlier? You were acting weird in the car."

" I'm just a bit overwhelmed." I said honestly. 

" Well, tell me if you start feeling too stressed alright? Even just the tiniest bit."

I nodded my head. "Okay," I whispered.

It was quiet for a little while until he spoke up.

"Why do you run so much?"

The question took me off guard. When I did soccer, I was in the best shape of my life. I ran at least five miles a day and had to do that in less then thirty minutes. It was also a great stress reliever. But, there we go again.

Stress.

"It's great form of exercise," I said nonchalantly.

"Olivia-" he started but I cut  off.

"I'm fine," I said before realizing what I had done.

Without another word he pulled into a parking deck and stopped the car. He turned to look at me.

"You know that's not true," he said sternly. "You're acting like nothing happened last night. I thought you would trust me."

Louis, only if you knew.

Only if you knew how vulnerable and exposed I felt right now, then you might possibly have a taste in how I'm feeling right now and why I'm acting this way.

"I do trust you Lou," I said while tugging at the ends of my hair.

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong? You said a whole lot of stuff last night."

"Maybe it's cause even I don't know what's wrong!" I yelled, catching both of us off guard.

"How can you not know what's wrong?! " He yelled. "It's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible," I muttered. "Take me home. I'm tired."

"You're always tired," he said annoyed.

Of course I am Lou.

That's what happens when you're going into relapse.