To Find You (Harry Styles)

Come Back to Meet Me

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"So, this is our humble abode," I said in a posh accent while opening the flat door to my flat. Madison and Olivia's arms were linked together as they walked inside the front door. The brunette's mouth dropped open as she looked around the place, flabbergasted by the size I presume.

"We probably have more room than we need, but it's convenient for guests to stay," I explained while looking at her expression. She blushed when she noticed my staring and looked back at me with wide eyes. "It's beautiful," she commented.

I nodded my head in appreciation of her compliment. I glanced at Olivia but she was nervously twiddling her thumbs. "Hey Liv, wanna go get changed and then meet us back down here for dinner?" I asked. I wanted to get Madison alone. She didn't respond, just disconnected her limbs from her friend and ran upstairs.

As soon as she left, Madison dropped the nice girl act.

"What the hell have you done to my best friend?" she said with venom in her voice. "She hasn't been this way since..."

"Since when?" I motioned for her to go on.

"What's it to you?" she said snarkily.

"She's my responsibility," I argued back.

She waited a moment before responding. "I know she is, Louis. I just see something in her eyes I haven't seen in a long time."

"And what's that?" I said sarcastically. I knew about Olivia more than anyone ever could, even if they tried.

"The desire to hurt herself," she whispered in fear, meeting my eyes.

OLIVIA POV

I ran up the stairs without turning around to meet either of their worried glances. Walking into my room, I sat on the bed, putting my face in my hands." Why did you get yourself into this mess? Why did you have to be so stupid? It's all your fault you’re like this." I heard in the back of my mind. My shoulders started to shake as the voice got louder.

For most people with depression, they don't react to the voice in their head telling them every single little detail of every single thing they did wrong. They just sit there and let it sink in until they’re completely engrossed in the sound of self confidence going down the drain. But of course, I wasn't normal as had been proven before. When I had an attack, I would shake uncontrollably. I couldn't control my muscles. Not only that, but I would start crying and talking to myself.

"You're gonna be okay," I lied to myself. How many times had I told myself that and then backtracked two steps from recovery. Every damn time I had one of these, I always got further and further away from getting better. I had no self control. I wanted pain, and I was going to get it.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom, shedding my clothes on the way.

HARRY POV

"Hazz? Babe?" I heard Liam's frantic call into my bedroom where I had remained the entire day.

I didn't respond; just let the silence do the talking. I was laying in bed, surrounded in blankets, my eyes staring at the pale wall in front of me. I hadn’t moved my gaze from that place all day. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching my figure but not once did I avert my gaze from the beige surface. Liam sighed and sat next to me on the bed. “Hazz?” I didn’t answer. “Harry?” he asked again, more forceful but once again I didn’t acknowledge it.

"Harry, you have to move on. She's not coming back," he soothed.

"Liam," I croaked, my eyes shifting to his face." This is me trying to."

His eyes softened even more when he saw my face I presume.

I was a mess. A fucking mess. I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. I spent most of my days in my bed, or hovering over the toilet. I knew it was wrong. I had only done it a couple of times, but it made me feel so much better. I wasn't going to let it become a habit though. Not under any circumstances.

“How is she doing?" I asked him.

I knew for a fact that he had been keeping in touch with Louis. Lou didn't know this, but Liam was telling me every little thing Louis told him about her. The last thing I heard was that she had a friend come visit.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. I immediately became worried. His eyes had that look that portrayed the exact shade of concern that he had for Liv. It was only for her. Unique.

"Liam, what's wrong?" I said sternly. My hands flew to his shoulders and my eyes widened in realization. It was serious.

He still hadn't answered my question. Several minutes had passed by. In those moments his posture had slumped and eyes had begun to water. “Liam." I started. He raised his head to meet my gaze and rested his hands upon mine which were still resting on him. "She's worse," he whispered.

He waited for my reaction. I loosened the grip on his shoulders and let my hands fall to my sides. I had only heard a tad bit about her emotional issues, but it was enough to scare me shitless.

"How bad?" I mumbled, playing with my fingers. I sniffed and wiped my right eye which was attempting to produce tears.

He took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. My face angled more towards the bedspread as it hit me that this was really happening. She was breaking, and I wasn't there to fix her. “She said she wanted to die yesterday."

In that moment, my entire world stopped. My breathing hitched. It wasn't real. This wasn't real. This was a dream. She didn't want to die. She lived a great life. She loved and was loved. Why would she ever-

"That's not all," he whispered.

My head shot up. "What do you mean?" I shot back.

He closed his eyes and pouted his lip. "Harry, I don't know how to tell you this..." He trailed off.

"Tell me what?" I asked, scared to death. Hands shaking and voice quivering.

"Harry, she tried to yesterday. Louis caught her in the bathroom," he choked out.

"H-how? How was she...," I couldn't finish before the sobs began to rack my body. My hands grabbed my face, covering the entirety of it, and I bent forward until I was curled up into a ball. Even though I was much taller than him, Liam picked me up and placed me in his lap, my ear against his heart.

"She used a knife from the kitchen," he stuttered. "H-he saw how she was acting when she went upstairs, and Madison apparently said something that scared Louis, so he went to go check up on her. He banged on the door and finally, after much hard work, kicked it down. And there she was. Sitting on the counter, completely naked, with a bloody knife in her hands and cuts covering her entire stomach and thighs. Harry, she had never cut there before. When he walked in she was about to stab herself in the chest." he whimpered, pain evident in his voice.

"What did Louis do?" I managed to breathe out even though it was getting harder and harder to maintain my voice. "How did he stop her?"

"He said that he almost didn't. There was so much pain in her eyes, not physical, mental. He apparently-and this is what he told me- sprinted towards her but she wouldn't let him take the knife. She forced him to watch her make her final cut, a deep gash in her midthigh that not even Mederma will be able to heal. She laughed maniacally. He said, more like sobbed, that he wanted, no needed, to get her help. He's taking her to tour a rehab facility tomorrow."

"Good," I sighed, hands in my curls, tugging every so often.

"Harry, there's one more thing you should know," he said softly, forcing my chin up to look at him.

I cocked my head to the side, waiting for his information.

"He wants you to come see her. Harry, he wants you to help her."