To Find You (Harry Styles)

For Your Own Good

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OLIVIA POV

When I was younger, I had dreams. Not like "daydreams or nightmares" , more like what I wanted to accomplish when I got older.

I pictured myself being the most popular girl in high school, getting my dream car on my sixteenth birthday, and living young and carefree.

I would get married when I was twenty six and have a child when I was thirty two. If it was a girl, then I would name her Blair, a boy, Carter. I would have a loving and adoring husband who wouldn't be afraid to go on tampon runs or attend dress fittings with me. I would live in my hometown, in the house I grew up in. My children would be straight A students and repsectful towards me and their father. We would live a normal, beautiful life.

That was dream number one.

Dream number two was one I came up with later in life. It was a true fantasy. My true fantasy.

I would graduate high school as Co-Valedictorian. I would be living the single life and loving it. I would, still, be the most popular girl in school and have plenty of friends. College would be the Julliard School of Music. I would graduate with a degree in vocal arts. 

Then I would make it big.

I would get discovered somehow by some major music legend and become instantly famous. I would perform at sold out stadiums and arenas. I would meet all the most famous celebrities and become best friends with them.

Some of those celebrities were also know as One Direction.

I would become filthy rich and spoil my children. Blair Lorraine Styles? Couldn't you just picture it? I could.

Anyways, I had always wanted to become famous. 

Just not like this.

I wanted to be able to choose whether or not I had my face plastered on every tabloid. I wanted to decide which secrets would be the headline of every article. I wanted to be famous my  way. 

But there was really no way that I possibly could.

I honestly thought I could handle the fame. I spent months and months, even before I met him, preparing for my interviews in the shower and deciding what I should say when asked a question regarding my personal life. I just didn't have enough time to prepare myself I guess.

I never was really surrounded by people that cared. Sure, I had acquaintances and people like that, but I only had one best frined. And she had enough issues on her own. I never felt like my problems were more important that hers. But now I was submerged in the world of fame, and every other question is "Are you okay" "Are you alright?". And for a while I honestly thought I was. I honestly did.

I guess my mind lied to itself.

I guess God really wanted me to suffer because I truly was now. No one could handle me. I couldn't even handle myself. No matter how much trouble I cuaused , people would apologize and I would feel even worse. I owuld escalate the amount of damage I would've done by ten times in my mind. If I accidently bumped into  someone, in my mind, I would've broken one of their bones. I guess that's what I get for being a dramatic person. Even my mind doesn't know when to stop.

So now, as I'm walking out of the bathroom dressed in all black and being enveloped in Louis's arms, I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know how to react. Would it be appropriate to hug him back or push him out of the way?  I decided neither.