A game with fire

Prologue

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I closed my eyes as the cold wind wrapped around my body. I was now only a inch from the edge of the cliff that was covered in white snow. I opened my eyes again just to face the darker again. I looked down the cliff and saw how high the cliff actually was. For a very long time this was the thing I was most afraid of. To loose control. Suicide. I thought. When you thought about it it, it sounded crazy. But for me, it was sort of relief. In the past three years I had gotten bullied, I had gotten blamed for my fathers death and I've been left all alone without a family. It was pretty sad, especially for a teenager. But then again, was it worth it? To commit suicide because of my crappy life here and now? I looked down on my hands that started to get a pale blue color. I hadn't thought much about what I was wearing when I was heading to the cliff. I had a white shirt and blue jeans.

My plan was simple. To climb the top of the cliff, say goodbye to my old life and then just jump. But what was stopping me? I thought. I looked down at my pale blue hands that were now shaking. I nearly couldn't feel my fingers. It was winter and that meant really cold weather and temperature. I took a last glance at the lake that was floating just underneath the cliff. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. Even if i nearly didn't have anything, I still had something. I had one true friend, that would be pretty pissed if she knew what I was doing right here and now. I took a step back. I couldn't do it, not to her. I loved her too much and I needed to be strong for her- not weak. I took a deep breath. Life gets better they say, well. I really hope so.  I turned around and started to walk home. The forest was amazing, especially at night. The darkness was mysterious, maybe that's why i liked it. But as I walked home i saw something glittering on the ground. what? I thought. In curiosity I started to walk toward the object that shone in a silver shade. I crouched as i picket up the item. In the moonlight  I could only see that it was small and round, but even if it was dark i could still see that it was silver. What was it? I thought to myself. I put down the object in my pocket as i rose from the ground. It started to get really cold and by now i was surprised that I could still move my fingers. I walked quietly home, well aware of what i nearly had done in the middle of the night. Just a couple of minutes later a stood outside my home. It was a small brown wooden house. Every time I came home, I could only think about the moment when I came back from school  and no one was home. I had searched in all rooms but nearly everything was gone. All wardrobes in my moms room was empty and the only thing left in her room was a piece of paper on the bed. 

I'm Sorry Max, I just can't take it anymore. Every time I look at you I see him. Same brown eyes and same blond hair. It's killing me, to know that he died that young. But most of all, if you hadn't called him to pick you up... he would still be alive. How much it hurts, I won't get over it as long as you are still around. That's why I'm leaving. Bye Max. Take care of yourself.

Her last words, spoken or written, hadn't been I love you. Most moms would at least write down I love you. But, how many moms do actually leave their child to the faith? No family , no foster care, no  anything. As I walked past the door a tear fell down my cheek. I closed the door and walked to my bedroom. I grabbed my phone and called Angeline. After a couple of signals I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" she said in a drawling voice.

"It's me." I didn't have to say more. 

"What is it Max? Why did you have to call me in the middle of the night?" 

"Angeline. I nearly did it tonight." I said. I didn't want to say the "S" word. The word would only make me look weak. 

"You did what?" she asked, a bit puzzled. I didn't blame her. It was midnight, no one thinks clearly at this time. The Irony. I commented myself. I took a deep breath as Angeline waited for my explanation.

"Tonight... I really couldn't take it anymore. I just didn't want to live anymore. So I nearly jumped from the cliff." I said. I started sobbing in the middle of the sentence. Crap. I didn't want to cry, especially not with Angeline listening. 

"Max. I understand that you are hurt. I mean your mom who is a total bitch left you all alone to the faith. But you can't go around and keep thinking of killing yourself! You have me Max, me. You are not alone.  And don't dare to leave me alone with all this idiots! Next time you say or think about that again I promise you, I'm gonna beat some sense into you. You understand?"  She sounded a bit angry, as I expected her to be. 

"Yeah." I said. I wasn't sobbing anymore but was on the verge to start again. 

"Do you want to come over? My parents aren't home tonight." she asked me, a less pissed.

"I'm fine." I automatically said. Angeline stayed silence for a second before she answered.

"We both know you aren't." was all she said. I took a deep breath as i stared out the window.

"Yeah, fine then." I said. 

"See you soon." She said before she ended the call. 

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Hi! I just wanted to thank you if you read this! Yeah, I know my language isn't the best, but please show me some mercy, English is my third language ;) And please leave me some feedback! It's always appreciated! :D