Chapter 10 ~ Deck the Halls With Plenty of Balls

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As I pulled up to the STAG base, Matt went into stealth mode. And by stealth mode, I meant he slid down his seat, with his seat belt at his neck and his legs in an awkward position.

"They might recognize the symbol on me." He explained.

"Dude, this entire fucking car has symbols on it." I gestured. It was true. The Saints Symbol was all over it.

"Oh."

"Yep. Now get your ass out." I pushed him out of the car. He fell to the floor, and the neon of his Deckers' jacket caught the attention of the guards, who began shooting at him. He screamed, narrowly dodging away from the bullets.

"Fucking bloody hell! Are you trying to kill me, you plebian!?" He shouted at me over the gunfire. "It's bloody enough that you fucking own the Deckers now and I'm being forced to serve you for next to nothing at all, but do you really have to have my life too?"

I sighed. Matt didn't seem like he was going to stop.

"I said I didn't want to die a virgin! I said that this was a problem for me! There are so many things I could be doing that you can't and I'd be on another level than you - anything you can do, I can do!"

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"I smirked. He nodded. "Okay, then, Matt Miller.... get laid."

Matt froze up. Yep- I pulled out that card. He couldn't get laid because nobody wants to fuck an emo self-loving bitch. His personality had to be a make-up for his dick size.

"I...um, are you challenging me to have sex?"

It gets even better.

"Hey, Matt, can you fuck me? I can fuck myself. But do you seriously think you can fuck me?"

"With the right tactics and planning I could get into your pants-"

I shut him up, right then and there.

A kiss right to his blue gay - looking lips. He seemed greedy, almost hungry. At first he had just been in shock until he ended up trying to eat my face off. I pushed him off.

"A girl doesn't want to feel like she's a fucking mission, Matt. She doesn't wanna feel like a big score or a bank to be robbed. You know what you do after you rob a bank? You leave it and never come back again. Girls like action, Matty. You're never gonna be fuckable in my book, and you know it. Face it- you're a sexual pleeb."

He was speechless. He never accounted for any of what I just said, nor to be told that his tactical bullshit wouldn't work. I was a do, go, fuck regret type of girl. I grabbed my SMG from the car and shot down the STAG operatives in the time it took Matt to recover.

"I...I'm a plebian...?" He whispered. I pushed him into the base, got to the portable imprisonment cells, and unlocked them, allowing every Saint to be free.

We walked back to the car and I pushed Matt into the front seat where he stared, almost entranced, into the distance.

"I'm....a plebian?" His English voice on repeat was really beginning to fuck with me. Emotionally. I shoved my fingers in his mouth, which made him jump and take them out. He looked at me as if I was a psychotic bitch.

Well, he wouldn't be wrong.

"Look, I'm not a plebian, okay? I'm just so sexually on another level that you just don't understand." He said confidently.

"Please me, Matt." I said, with a straight face. A look of sheer horror spread across his face- I love catching people in a lie.

"Can you please repeat that?" His face was white. He knew he didn't have the balls or the skills.

"I said, please me. If you're sexually on another level, then you should be able to please me better than a hooker can."

"I-i just, you're driving, and I'm not in the zone-"

"Matt, you're going to fucking either make me orgasm, or you're going to be pole dancing for the Saints for three hours."

He looked horrified. "Pole dancing?!"

"That's right. Every saint is gonna see your junk because you're gonna take it all off." Another horrified look.

"Um, what do girls like?"

Fucking Matt.

"Shouldn't you know? You're the sex god or whatever."

"I never said I was a sex god!"

"I'm a fucking sex demon. If you're above my level then you're probably a famous porn star or a god. Choose." I looked at Matt, and his hand awkwardly rested on my thigh, which he began rubbing softly. "Matt, your game is weak."

"I'm just starting!" He protested.

"A hooker can make someone orgasm from an invisible blowjob."

"How do you know that?"

"Have you not seen my browsing history?"

He just kept rubbing my thigh, on repeat. I could tell he felt too uncomfortable to go any further. I pulled up to the Burns Hill crib. I stopped at the bottom elevator. Matt looked awkward.

"I'm revoking your pole dancing punishment."

He looked relieved.

"And replacing it. Time to deck this Decker in the balls."

He looked at me, processing what I just said.

Before he could react, I punched him in the balls as hard as I could.

The scream was so loud that the Luchadores heard it.

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