Chapter 18 ~ Police Chief Jackie VS General Clark (When Matt Gets Emotional)

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The first thing I came to was the sound of gunfire.

"_____!?" Matt yelled in my ears. It still slightly creeped me out on how he didn't do that with a phone. "You're in a literal war-zone!"

"War...zone?" I muttered. What was this, world war 3?

"You got it, kid!" A man yelled. He literally had mud on his face. Or maybe it was shit. I can't really tell.

My first observation was that we were in a fort made of sand - bags, which was undeniably cool.

My second observation is that the fort was extremely small and was not fitting both of us without great trouble.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked. The man turned to look at me, his face absolutely blank. His face literally changed expressions in a split second.

"I am General Clark, motherfucker!" He grinned. "When I say jump, you say how fucking high! Jump!"

"So, Matt, explain?" I asked. I heard his british voice enter my ears, and it kind of felt like tasting honey for the first time.

"Well, he seems to be harmless. He's an interactive AI that seems to be Neutral. We can make an alliance with him, but that would aggravate the faction trying to erase his data."

"Matt. Nerd speak translator, please."

"I'm not Google." Matt muttered. "He's an NPC." When I remained silent, Matt groaned. "A non-playable character! Someone who gives you quests."

I was pretty much ignoring him now.

"Okay, he's a gang member and he's neutral towards you because you're not doing anything for or against his territory. We could bend this to our favour and make him one of our allies so he can help us take down a rival gang, or we can steal his prostitutes and gain infamy."

"Oooh. I get it now. The fuck is up, dawg?" I asked.

"Not much, Dawg. Just holding out against the Drag Queen Of the Year." General Clark said.

"Bummer." I replied. I didn't really care about drag queens. "So why am I here?"

"You fell into the middle of the battle field." Matt explained. "I watched as this guy picked you up and dragged you into that thing."

"Fort!" General Clark yelled. "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!THING!?! BACK IN 'NAM WE CALLED THEM SANDIES, NAMED AFTER OUR WIFE SANDY BEING FUCKED BACK HOME! TIGHT, IMPENETRABLE, BUT CAN TAKE ONE HELL OF A BEATING!"

"Okay, um, fort. He can hear me?" Matt seemed a little confused.

"Matt, the fact you don't sound like you know about these electronical people scares me. If you don't know what the fuck this is, then I assume I don't know either." I pointed my head towards the sky. "And as far as I know about tactical bullshit, that is a problem."

"I know, I know. I'm just getting used to this. Uh, it seems that he's a virus- something that Zinyak wants to destroy from the system- so he's on our side. Any virus in the system can potentially hear me right now." Matt said, calmly. Since he was calm I was gonna assume this wasn't a problem.

"The problem here, you little English lesbian cunt, is Officer Jackass!" General Clark screamed.

"What did you call me?!" Matt shrieked.

"You must have shitty hearing, cunt! I called you a little English lesbian cunt! And you, Cunt, will refer to me as sir!"

"Who the fuck is Jackass?" Matt hissed.

"Who the fuck is Officer Jackass, Sir!" When Matt didn't respond, General Clark continued. "Officer Jackass controls the police here! The Military and I are having issues. Y'see, I once fucked Officer Jackass' goat. Officer Jackass did not like that. I told his goat to call me. I am waiting on that call."

"Officer Jackie- the one you defeated in your prison simulation." Matt said.

"Officer Jackass!" General Clark screamed.

"Officer Jackass." Matt said. "Anyways, it seems like Officer Jackass is a hardcore NPC designed by Zinyak whose sole purpose is to remove viruses from the simulation. In other words, an Antivirus. Absolutely brilliant!"

"Officer Jackass is not brilliant." General Clark said. "He's keeping me and Rosy apart."

"Um...yeah. Go team Clark." Matt went quiet. General Clark picked up his gun and rammed it into a small hole in the sandbags, shooting it.

"So... what's happening out there?" I asked. I wanted out of this damn 'fort'. Don't get me wrong, Officer Clark was amazing, but I was more than eager to explore my new surroundings. After that 80s Horror Sitcom, I could sure use a nice meal at a Freckle Bitches.

If they had one here.

"It's a war zone." General Clark replied. I literally ran into the sandbags and he grabbed his riot shield.

We were in a normal park. People were walking by as if nothing happened.

"It's.... completely fine out here." I replied.

"Shit, what time is it?!" General Clark yelled.

"It's 9:00PM, American Time." Matt said.

"He's gone for tonight." No further explanation.

"I believe General Clark means that the Antivirus has been taken into a matinence server and is now being updated to combat the virus growth." Matt said. I could finally understand, even if it was only slightly. Matt was basically saying Jackie was in another simulation. "Maybe it was because we beat it." He suggested.

"Alright, yadda yadda yadda. Matt, direct me to the nearest Freckle Bitches."

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