As a wise man once said, don't put a bull in a china shop.
He would be even wiser had he said, don't put Matt and Kinzie in the same room together.
Silverware was flying, tables were flipped, and slaps were happening.
"Boss, what the fuck!? Why is Matt Miller the first one you saved?!" Kinzie shouted, quite pissed off at me. She threw a cardboard box my way, which I easily deflected my putting my arm in front of my face.
"Get your facts right, Kinzie! I saved _____ first. Not the other way around!" Matt said proudly, puffing out his chest like a peacock who was making up for something that he was lacking.
"Oh, shut up, Matt!" Kinzie threw a wrench- It hit Matt right in the middle of the face. He grabbed his face, and went down pretty easily. How pathetic. I leaned against a shelf, sighing. I'd just let them work it out between the two of them.
"HELLO? IS THIS THING WORKING? HELLO? MOTHERFUCKERS, ARE YOU THERE?" General Clark's voice crackled to life on one of the many computer screens in the spaceship.
"Woooah. The fuck is happening right now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I HAVE BECOME THE SPACESHIP."
"You are not the spaceship."
"YES, I AM."
"No, you're not."
"SHUT UP."
"Holy crap, _____, what's going on?" Kinzie asked, scared of the sudden surround sound. She was a techie- she should just instantly know what was wrong with the damn ship.
"I want to become the spaceship." General Clark muttered. Matt began to laugh.
"AI for the Spaceship would be an amazing win!" And then Matt stopped. "But.... if you become the Spaceship's AI, then what happens with Officer Jackass?"
"Oh, don't worry, I'll make you make me have direct access to the simulation. That fucknut Jackass is probably gonna just be whoring 'ereself out." General Clark's tone dropped a couple levels, to completely serious. It was one of those moments in which you go, what the fuck, am I tripping?
"I...well, with Kinzie here, we can probably do it." Matt said, nervously. His eyes darted towards Kinzie. "I mean, if you want to..?"
"Matt..." Kinzie smiled warmly at him. "Go suck a dick."
Matt... 3.
Kinzie, 9000.
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Always Number Two (Matt Miller x Reader)
FanfictionIt all started when you decided to say all the wrong things. (This is in first person perspective, so there's no you. It's a reader insert, but you'll find that there will be no h/c or e/c, only name blanks.)
