Always Number Two (Matt Miller x Reader)

Chapter 29 ~ The Storm after the Calm

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ So, I'm back baby! I found this chapter unfinished so I decided to finish it. I've updated my writing style since we parted about... a year ago. At least, it feels like a year ago. Bear with me, I got lots to do and update! Also, the smut is gonna be SHAMELESS!

Honestly, there was no expecting what came next. I was minding my business in the hull of the ship. Fuck, it must've been months of me and Matt playing cat and mouse. Things went on as normal. We got the crew back. 

But I just... I never expected him. Gat. Of all people.

I could barely contain myself, trembling when we got him on the ship. Trembling just to be with him, just to see him. Fuck, just one more glance. It was like the world didn't exist. These fucked up memories that weren't mine didn't exist.

Matt didn't exist. 

"Johnny." I began, my lower lip trembling. I bit softly, my eyes darting around the ship, my heart swelling. "I know... look. When you were gone I filled the void with everything I could. Sex, drugs, partying, revenge, murder, fuck. Anything. And I know, I know I'm not Aisha. I know I can never be her and maybe that's what kills me inside. Because... because I-"

His lips pressed against mine but it wasn't... it wasn't what I imagined. Maybe I'd fantasized about him so much like this that perhaps I built it up to be something more, like some sort of, oh, I don't fucking know, fireworks or something. I'm the leader of the third street saints, not some disney princess.

I loved Johnny Gat, didn't I? Well, why the fuck didn't it feel like that? Surely there was supposed to be some heavenly magical unicorn rainbow feelings or some shit. Like, maybe I don't know what love feels like but it's supposed to feel like something, right? So why does it feel the same? And I'm not talking as in jumping off a roof with a parachute for the rush, I'm talking kissing Gat is like kissing a hooker. Still, I press my lips against his with a ferocious desire to feel some kind of something; if I keep doing it, some sort of spark has to come. Maybe there's no spark, maybe it's supposed to be like this.

I still couldn't tear myself away from him, but eventually his hands were on my shoulders, pushing me away gently yet firmly. "Whoa, boss. Hold on. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right, okay? Let's take it slow, test the waters first." I raised my eyebrows. Johnny Gat, wanting to take it slow? I knew he was a caring guy, especially for those who'd touched his heart or whatever, but something began to fall into place. I felt my face flush; that was the spark I was looking for. It was like everything I'd known about Gat was rewritten in that instant. It wasn't as vivid as I'd expected to be, but I certainly felt something when I looked at Gat and that was enough for me. 

From here on, my life would be needlessly complicated. Johnny Gat was never a part of the plan for the future, but I was glad to see him again. Glad beyond words for more than one reason. As for where I stood with Matt... 

This would change things a bit, wouldn't it?