Chapter 10

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Conor hadn’t said anything. Minutes passed and we were still sat in silence. I didn’t realise but tears had started to run down my cheeks and I started sobbing. Conor pulled my in and I cried into his chest, his arms were wrapped around me and he gently stroked my back in a comforting manor. “Does anyone else know?” I just shook my head, my face still buried in his chest. “…So yesterday at the doctors…it wasn’t a virus…” I just shook my head again. I just managed to say, “I did the test when I got home, I didn’t tt-ell you because it could have been nothing,” I cried even harder. “(Y/N), everything is going to be okay…” “Conor! Nothing is going to be okay again! My life is ruined! I’ve ruined your life too!” “DON’T SAY THAT!” Conor look angry and I waited for him to say something. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you! I will stand by you forever! You are my life now.” He pulled me in for another hug and we hugged in silence for a while. “What are you going to tell your mum?” I thought for a while. “That we were stupid and should have been more careful.” He nodded his head. “I’ll be here when you tell her.” “Thank you.”  I kissed him and we laid on the sofa and we both fell asleep.

I was woken up to the front door slamming. “(Y/N)! Are you home?!” “Yeah right here mum,” I gave her a dazed look as I had only just woken up. Conor was still sleeping so I slowly got up and went over to her. “How are you feeling?” I was going to tell her now. “Not too good…” “Why!? What’s wrong?” I looked at the floor for a while then met her gaze. “Mum, I’m pregnant, Conor’s the father and I know what you are going to say ‘I’m a stupid girl and should have been more careful’ but it’s happened now…” I couldn’t help it, I cried again and I wasn’t expecting my mums reaction, she pulled me in and hugged me and said “Everything’s going to be okay.” “it’s not though is it mum, everyone’s going to think I’m a slut, I’m only 17 and this has happened, what am I going to do…” “You have me and Conor to look after you, we are both here for you and we are going to help you through this.”

Conor went home and I wasn’t hungry so I just went straight to bed, all this crying has made me so tired. I fell asleep quickly and I woke up at 12:00, god I slept for ages. My bed was wet and for a split second I thought I had weed myself. I removed the sheets and a red moist stain was all over my bed sheets. “MUM!” I began crying, what was happening why was I bleeding so much. My mum rushed through the door and she looked worried. “Mum what is it!” “i..i don’t know! I’m taking you to the hospital now. I got some spare clothes and just wrapped my dressing gown round me. I don’t care what I looked like, I had no time to sort myself out. My mum was speeding down the roads, and we arrived at the hospital in 5 minutes. My mum explained to the women at the desk what was wrong and I was escorted to a room. I told them that I was pregnant and they did tests on me. They went out of the room and my mum was holding my hand. “I called Conor about 10 minutes ago, he’ll be here soon.” A minute later Conor burst through the doors. “(Y/N)! Are you okay?!” he looked really worried and had no idea what was going on. “They will be back soon to tell me what’s wrong.” He came over and hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Everything’s going to be okay (Y/N).” 5 minutes later the same lady came through the door and i could tell something was terribly wrong. “Well? What is it?” she hadn’t said anything so I was getting worried and impatient. “I am so sorry to tell you this but…you have had a miscarriage…” A miscarriage…my baby had died before it got a chance to even live. I know I said I didn’t want a baby but that didn’t mean I wanted it to die. I started crying and I hadn’t even thought about Conor who was also in the room. My mum hugged me and told me how sorry she was. I looked up at Conor and tears were also running down his face. “Oh Conor!” I sobbed even more. I got up slowly and hugged him. He buried his face into my shoulder and we both just stood there for a while not knowing what to do. “You are ready to go home whenever you like now.” “Thank you.” My mum spoke for me knowing I wasn’t in any state to reply to anyone right now. It felt like someone had just punched a hole through my chest. I already loved that baby and it had been taken away from me that easily. It was Gone. My baby would never take its first breathe. Never cry it's first cry. Never taste or play or ever explore the world. But most importantly, i would never here me tell them i loved them.

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