New Boy

Chapter 11

Months passed and I have never felt so empty before. This is not one of the times when you can just move on and forget. I lost a part of me when my baby died. And I won’t ever get it back. I went on with my life, well I tried to. Me and Conor are having issues. He still uploads his covers and is getting more well known by the day but things are different between us…it’s awkward. We are still together but I don’t know if we should be anymore. I need to talk to him, I don’t want are relationship to end, I just want it to get better, like it was before.

To Conor:

We need to talk, you free at 1?x

From Conor:

Yeah, see you soon.x

I had a shower and changed out of my pj’s. It was 1:55 and Conor would be here any moment. I was running through things to say in my head. What was I going to say? I hadn’t actually though about this and I was starting to get worried. A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts and I got up off my sofa and went to let Conor in. I opened the door and I was surprised to see who it was. It wasn’t Conor, it was Alex. “Alex?” he gave me a little smile. “Hey, mind if I come in?” “Uhh…Sure…” Alex came in and stoop in my kitchen. “Conor will be here soon so what is it?” “I’m worried about you (Y/N), you haven’t been right for months, what’s wrong?” I found it sweet that Alex really cared about me but I didn’t know what to say, “Alex, I’m fine really,” I tried to do a reassuring face but by the look on his face, he wasn’t convinced. “You can spout that crap to everyone else (Y/N) but you don’t fool me, now tell me.” I bit my lip and he just raised his eyebrow. “Right…” I sat down at my dinner table and he took a seat next to me, “…a little while back…I found out I was pregnant, Conor was the dad obviously and I started bleeding, lots, and it turned out I had a miscarriage.” I was playing with my fingers and not looking at him when I spoke. There was a long silence and I could tell he was waiting for me to look at him. I eventually looked up and his eyes were filled with sadness. “(Y/N)…I am so sorry…” “It’s not your fault…” he got up off his chair and hugged me. “I am always here for you okay, never forget that.” This is why I loved Alex, no matter how much of a twat he can be, he’s there for me. “Please don’t tell anyone else.” “I would never…” He pulled me in for one last hug then left knowing Conor would be here any minute.

A few minutes after Alex had left, Conor showed up. He came in and we sat down on my sofa. “Conor, you and I both know that things haven’t been the same since…since the miscarriage, and I hate us being like this, our relationship is falling apart and I don’t want that, I don’t want that one bit. I love you, I want to be with you forever and I mean it, Conor I love you so much and I’ve already lost one thing, please…don’t let me lose another…” A tear steamed down my face and he saw. “Hey, don’t cry. I know things have been bad recently but that’s only because of the situation, I know I haven’t been here for you recently and I should have been, I left you on your own when you need me the most, and I shouldn’t have, what kind of a boyfriend does that? But I promise, I am here now, and I’m not going anywhere.” He placed his forehead on mine and we kissed a slow passionate kiss. “Don’t you ever leave me Conor Maynard.” “I’m not going anywhere.” He hugged me tight and it felt like he was never going to let go…and I didn’t want him to. This boy was my life now and I wasn’t going to let go, even if it kills me.