"I wish that we could stay like this forever." I say, my voice muffled u the thick black hair that I have buried my face in.
"Me too, Cupcake. Me too." Carmilla grees. She and I both know that that won't be happening but it's a nice thought.
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I wish that I could take back half of what I had said now. I was totally unfair. Of course Carmilla doesn't want to betray her sister. That makes sense on so many levels. I was mean and unfair and I don't know how to fix it. She was so angry. I was so angry. Emotions were running high and now it's over. It's hard to believe that we were happy and together only a few nights ago.
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I wish that I hadn't eaten so much ice cream. I wish that I hadn't cried so hard. Carmilla will be able to tell. I wonder how cold I can get the shower to run?
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I wish that I had run away with her when I had had the chance.
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I wish that Carmilla had never told me Mattie's secret. I wish that I didn't care so much. I wish that everything were different, but mostly I wish that I could understand why I can't do anything right.
