Is it Forbidden Doc?

Strawberry

         

That night i had a nightmare, were i had two men chasing me to the club i had been 2 weeks ago, i was drugged and extremely confused, everything seemed very real making me wake up drenched in sweat, i felt my breathing get heavier and tears run down my cheeks, i felt like my soul was leaving my body for a minute and remembered those times were panic attacks would consume me, only a few years back.

"help!" i screamed in the dark room, i was crying hard and everything in front of me seemed surreal and blurry, like i was in a fogged window trying to see outside.

"calm down Amelia, please sweetheart" i heard my dad's voice and my head rested against his shoulder, i cried and cried till the nurses injected me something, saying those were the doctor orders.

"please, dad" i breathed trying to explain to him, my dream and the reason i was falling into a panic attack, i opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out, just my screams and the hiccups i got from crying so much.

After some minutes i calmed down, and a female doctor came into the room, speaking to my dad, about how i needed mental help. I felt hopeless, i was doing so good, even after the club man stabbing me after i got rescued.

"it's ok, we have been through this." i heard my dad say, and because of the medication they gave me, i just could sit there with tired eyes and no expression at all. My dad called mom, and she came after 20 minutes of driving, i didn't want her to worry over my sudden change in my state, but she said it wasn't my fault. That i should rest and we could talk in the morning.

"sleep my little girl." my dad said as he tucked me in, i just could not remember a time i felt so bad, my head hurt, my stitches ached and my heart felt heavy, the last thing i needed was worry my parents.

You see... i was 16 the first time i got a panic attack, and i've been taking antidepressants since then, i liked to think i was ok, after leaving high school, were i had a small group of friends and was bullied constantly. In college things changed for the better, i got accepted between my peers, and started dating. After some time, my parents saw how much it helped me having my own life, i live about an hour from my parents house, in a apartment close to my campus and share a nice and cozy home with my best friends, Azula and Jo.

My parents were always checking on me and i loved spending time in their house, to see my aunts and cousins, after all Sundays were always barbecue day back home.

i slept the rest of the night and was woken up by my mom, and doctor Reed. He had a worried expression on his face and i wondered how bad i looked after criying so much last night, i saw dad sitting on the couch with a smile on his face and welcoming me to the morning with a nice coffee and bagels.

"thanks dad i need that coffee" i said and taking a sip, tasting the strong black liquid that dad knew how much i liked.

"aww much better. my head is killing me though" i said and smiled trying to lift up the serious atmosphere that the room had.

"Amelia, pumpkin we've been talking with Dr.Reed and the best decision we can think of is, you getting out today but staying at the house with us for some days." my mom said and started to pet my head, maybe my hair was in a wild mess after all.

"ok, i don't have to say anything to that" i said and smiled at them, maybe some days at my parents house would do me good.

"ok, all done, i'm so happy you are coming home with us" she said and hugged me while Dr.Reed still stared at me and my every movement.

"ms.Hawk, i will do the final check up on miss Hawk's wounds and we are ready to do all the papers." his voice sounded weak and too serious to my liking. He was always so fresh and happy.

"ok, what's with the face doc" i said and laughed at the cheesy name.

"why didn't you told me. Amelia mental health is as important or more than physical health" he said and i stared confused at him.

"why are you implying that i don't know that" i said and waited for him to say something, and was grateful that my parents had left us alone, this conversation would of been awkward if not.

"your depression? panic attacks? 5 years of antidepressants? and you still think you would be trauma free after what happened?" he asked with a furious expression that made me tear up involuntary, you know those moments when you feel weak and only a scream can brake you, i felt that with him. His powerful aura and demanding tone had me shanking from fear.

"i'm sorry ok!. it was just a panic attack, it's not like i tried to commit suicide or anything" i lifted my hand to hide the fact that i was crying in front of him.

"Amelia..." he said and i still looked at my hands and blocking away the tears. i felt so weak and pathetic.

"hey.listen to me" his voice was so near me, and a hand rested against my cheek. his hands were soft and surprisingly warm. His touch alone made me sigh and close my eyes.

"huh, you are tired aren't you" he whispered against my face, and i lifted my eyes towards his, they were wide and worried but had a gentle look that was new.

His forehead was resting against mine and i just thought about not moving and savor this moment till it had to be broken. His scent and our mixed breathing was making my head fuzzy and my thoughts to run into forbidden places. He's my doctor, and not to mention 18 years older.

"i thought the worst once they called me this morning informing me about your state" he said after a while braking the contact our heads had but keeping his hand in my cheek softly moving his dump and talking in a small voice, my hart just melted at the sight. This grown man, tough looking making all to make me feel good.

"i'm sorry. i just had a nightmare" i whispered and smiled making him laugh and his eyes wrinkle. In that moment i analyzed how handsome he really was, straight nose, perfect white teeth, high cheekbones that lead to a perfectly square jaw and not to mention those eyes. His sky blue almond shaped eyes.

"don't worry that pretty little head, it's over, but i do need you to see a professional" he said and broke his gaze to look my lips, moving his dumb he touched my bottom lip and kept doing it for some seconds, making my breath hitch and my heart beat faster.

"you have beautiful lips. Pouty and soft, and the color, it's just like a strawberry" he said and made me laugh at his cheesy line. His hand dropped and his frown appeared making me laugh even more, i laughed every time i got nervous, and he was the reason i got nervous lately.

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that" he said and looked at the floor still smiling. his eyes went from my eyes to my lips and to the floor again, making him look more like a boy than the man he really was.

"you are right, doctors don't say those things" i boldly said, playing a game that i shouldn't. But who i was to deny my heart.

"they don't" he said and smiled at me. it was obvious he wanted to say more, but instead he got up and went to the table and started to inspect my wound. with a cloth on one and and the other lifting my shirt he started to do his job, and kept his mouth shut for the rest of the time.

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