His Baby {completed}

Chapter 5

***Alex POV***

It touched me that she even cared. After all of what I put her through. Yes I am a fucking monster. This I know.

I grimaced at the memory of my blacked out rage I went through almost three weeks ago. When I walked into my house on that Thursday, and both of my girls were gone I lost it. I came home early that evening wanting to surprise Eve and the baby and take them out to eat.

I called Jason up screaming and crying into the phone like some fucking pussy. I thought someone has snatched my girls away from me in retaliation to the organization's recent activity in bringing Santos to his knees. I remember tearing through the house trying to find a note of random or some fucking clue to who has taken them.

Jason never heard me cry, hell no one did except for Eve. It freaked him the hell out. It was the first time I ever really felt fear. Growing up my father would beat the shit out of me but never once did I cry because I knew that it would last longer if I did. And fear just had no place in my heart growing up. What sense would it make to feel that weakness? Either way that ass was still going to get beat and I still had to wake up everyday and do what needed to be done. No sense in torturing oneself on the inevitable by feeling fear.

When I found her cell phone on our bed and her purse was gone as was the baby's bag. That's when my fear turned into a rage so deep and dark I blacked out. I came to with bleeding hands and feet in the middle of the living room's destruction. I stumbled into my room and sat on the edge of my bed and cried. Fucking cried like some weak bitch.

I hated feeling the hurt and pain I felt. I didn't want to live any longer. I wanted to find them but I was just so hurt in that moment. I couldn't believe that she went behind my back when I fucking trusted her enough not to chain her little ass to the bed! When she arrived home with the baby I heard her footsteps and knew it was her.

I was so happy and relieved. Tears of relief streamed down my face in the dark and when she came into the room and began to talk to me. I lost it again. How dare she leave this fucking house without consulting me? What if she was spotted and hurt by someone? She knowingly had put my child in danger! I allowed the rage to swallow me up once again.

I realized what I was doing and caught myself just in time before I killed her. That night I had turned into my father. I laid my hand on the innocent to fulfill a inner burning rage. They also say children become who their parents are. I believe that one now also.

Shame filled me as I sat on the toilet thinking of that damn night.

Ever since that night Eve grew even more distant and kept to herself. Hell I couldn't face her either. How do you even face someone who you love but you know that you don't have the ability to love them in the way that they deserve to be loved?

Releasing a sigh I got up off the toilet and headed into the master bedroom. Eve was in there with her back turned toward me placing cleaned folded clothes into the drawers. She wore a yellow dress that made her look younger than what she was. Her beautiful hair was in a high pony tail and she was bare foot with thin gold ankle bracelets dangling around her dainty ankles.

I wanted to run up behind her and grovel at her feet, I wanted to beg for her to forgive me, I wanted to throw her down on the bed and make love to her body with only my tongue, and most importantly, I wanted to tell her how much I love her and how much I enjoy being the father of her child.

I don't do any of those things. Instead I creep over to the bed and just sit and watch her. Sighing she turned toward me frowning, "What is it now Alex? And don't tell me about another damn boo boo. I am not in the mood!"