I Won't Give Up •The Substitute Teacher Sequel•

Chapter 13

Joey's P.O.V.

I feel like none of this is real. Like any minute I am going to wake up and it be all a dream. But it isn't. This is my reality. And sadly my reality consists of trying to pick the one I love. I know who I love. It is just hard for me to admit it to myself. I knew coming to this party was a bad idea, especially with Preston. I knew it.

"I want you to tell me you hate me. I want you to fucking drag me until I cry. I want to cry until I can't physically produce more tears. I want that more than anything. Because that would give me closure. It would will me to move on. But you can't do that. Can you?" He says inching closer to me, the coffee table acting as a barrier between us, and then Daniel looks me directly into the eyes trying to prove what he is actually feeling. I stare back. My mind feels as though it is fogged by clouds, making it hard for me to function. What am I supposed to do? Forgive him? Fuck. Why is this so difficult for me? And in all honesty, I can't. I can't tell him I hate him. Because I don't. My brain may hate him but my heart still loves him.

"I-" I begin as the door opens. It is Preston.
"Is he bothering you?" Preston says walking over to me lacing my fingers with his. I see the instant pain show on Daniel's face. I just stare at our hands together. No. This isn't how this is supposed to be.
"Preston, can you-" I try to tell Preston to leave but Daniel cuts me off.
"You know what, save it. Call me whenever your come to your senses and can talk to me without needing this fucker coming to your side for support," he says shaking his head and standing up. And then walking out of my sight, but not out of my mind.

Why can't life be easy? Why are choices so difficult? Why do you have to choose who you love even though it is very clear who it is? These are the three questions that are currently running my life. These questions are ruling me, filling my brain with thoughts making me want to scream.
"What was he talking to you about?" Preston slurs. Of course, he drank. You know what? Know that I think about it, Daniel had quit drinking after he cheated on me. He stopped for me. And yet Preston didn't.
"He-h-he," I try to get out but just start crying again. I can't. I just can't.
"Joey you have to use your words," Preston says catching an attitude with me.
"You think I don't know that? You think I don't fucking know that?" I say unlacing my fingers from his.
"No, I know you know that. And I understand that sometimes when your upset, talking is a bit hard," Preston says with a much softer tone. But for some reason his jaw is clenched. Why?
"Okay. He just was trying to get me to understand him and how he feels," I say wiping my eyes and running my hands through my hair.
"And do you?" Preston says now sitting across from me, where Daniel was sitting.
"Yeah, everything is a whole lot clearer," I say shaking my head. For once I understand what I need to do
"So what are you going to do?" Preston says looking me in the eyes. His are a bit glossy looking. Why?

I would like to tell you my answer was what you wanted to hear. I would like to say it loud and clear. But again, I can't. Yes, love is eternal. And yes, I will always have a special place in my heart for him. But I can't keep doing this. I just, it isn't going to work. But most of all, I would like to say that my answer is the truth. But it isn't. And that, again, is the reality of life.

"I have to tell Daniel I don't love him."