I Won't Give Up •The Substitute Teacher Sequel•

Chapter 19

Joey's P.O.V.

I make it home and I have somehow managed to stop crying now. I park the car and sit there for a second. I have to tell Preston now.

I hadn't thought this far into the whole process. Like, what the hell am I supposed to say? Yeah, I broke another guys heart who I still love to be with you. Maybe not that...

While walking up to the front door I can feel my heart beat to the tempo of my walk. How am I going to do this? But then something flahses in my mind. Something Daniel always told me. He always told me you don't have to have a way with words to have people understand you. The thought of what Daniel always said made a tear slide down my cheek as I unlock the door and open it.

When I walk in, Preston is on the couch. He sees me and immediatley walks over to me and pulls me into a tight hug. And what do you know, I start to cry. But not because I am happy. But because for some reason deep down I know I screwed up.

"How did it go?" Preston says pulling out of the hug. Daniel always held me until I was ready to talk.
"I told D-Daniel... wwho I chose," I say to Preston in a very choked voice.
"How did that go?" Preston says with a bit of spice to his tone. I guess he is just happy that he finally gets to be with me without Daniel in the way.
"It went. That's for sure," I say beginning to cry even more. But Preston didn't pull me into a hug. Instead he carried me to the couch and placed me so I was straddling his lap.

"So how did you know when it was over?" Preston says rubbing my thighs up and down while looking me in the eyes waiting for my answer. And it took me a second. Yes, I already new my full answer. But it just fully hit me that we are over.
"I think when I was more in love with the memories than the person standing in front of me," I say not looking Preston straight in the eyes. Sadly my answer is true. Our past was so much better than how we were in the present. And I guess that helped me realize that we were over.

After Preston finally let my answer sink in, he kissed my cheek.
"Your life will pick up. Don't worry," Preston says placing a kiss to my other cheek.
"If this is how my life is going to be then... then I don't want it anymore," I say with a bit of flare in my tone and I stand up off of his lap.
"Joey if you just get over it and focus on us it will make it all better," Preston says trying to walk over to me and hug me. But I walk away from him and towards our bedroom.
"You don't understand so don't tell me how to make it better!" I scream and then slam our door.

I sit down on the bed for a second and look at my nightstand. And I see something. A piece of paper. Oh shit. It's the note Daniel gave me the day I graduated. I remember that day. I glance at my wrist and see the seven scars from where I cut myself. A single tear slips down my face as I pick up the note to read it again.

Joey Graceffa, let me start this off by saying that I am proud of you. Through everything that has ever knocked you down, you stood right back up and faced it head on. And I admire you for that. I love every little thing about you. The way you smile, laugh, breath, and just the way you exist makes my heart skip a beat. I know I may have lost you by now. Just know that I am regretting every second. I love you. And I am sorry for breaking your heart. Thank you Joey for teaching me what love is. Without you, I don't think I would have experienced true love. You don't have to take me back, I wouldn't ask you to do that. Hell, you don't even ever have to talk to me again. I just want you to accept my apology. I won't be able to live with myself if I know I caused you pain and couldn't make up for it.
I will love you forever and always,
Daniel

After I read the note, I curl up into a ball on the bed and just cry. That seems to be all I do lately, is just cry. And it is the worst type of crying. The silent one. The one when everyone is asleep. The one when you feel it in your throat, and your eyes become blurry with tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. The one when you can't breathe anymore. The one when you realize the person that meant the most to you, is gone. And he is gone because of me.

I sit there in a pool of my own tears. And all I can feel is the one I love starting to love me less. And it is the worst feeling in the world.

And then I realize something. Somewhere along the way, everything Daniel did was for me. I just didn't return the favor.