Truly, Madly, Deeply: A Dark Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction

Chapter 14: I Wish

“So now you know everything.” I whispered, not even noticing the tears that had started streaming down my cheeks as I had recounted every horrific detail of what had happened between me and Niall so many years ago. As I had been speaking, it been increasingly harder and harder to maintain my composure as fourteen year old Stella’s agony flooded back into my mind. I couldn’t even begin to describe all the sleepless nights in the months that followed, me waking up sobbing sometimes so uncontrollably I would make myself sick. Eventually i’d just had to box up all my emotions and push them to the back of my mind, coming to the realization it was worse to feel pain than just feel nothing at all. I had been numb to everything ever since.

Finally, after a few seconds that seemed to stretch on for hours, I allowed myself to look at Louis. I’d been avoiding his gaze this entire time in fear of what I would see in his steely grey eyes. He was standing completely motionless, a tormented expression on his face. 

“Stella...” He said, his voice shaky. “I’m so sorry.”

A wave of relief flushed over me. He wasn’t angry, he understood. “He’s been trying to get back together. The only reason I came over today was to tell him I just wanted to be friends. But he invited me to this party, and I was just so mad at you for keeping so many secrets from me that I let myself dance with him and...” I trailed off from my rambling, debating if I should tell Louis what Niall had whispered to me in the middle of the crowded dance floor. “Well, he told me he loved me.” I said finally.

I heard Louis take a sharp intake of breath, and when I looked at him, he had the same expression on his face that Avery had had that night at the club. “I’ll fucking kill him.” He said darkly. 

“No!” I exclaimed. “Louis, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Louis turned his icy glare to me. “Do you honestly believe it’s not that big of a deal, Stella? Look at what he did to you! I swear to God I will go back in there right now and mess him up so badly he’ll be breathing through a tube when i’m done.”

I pulled Louis into me, resting my forehead on his chest. “Shhh.” I whispered, rubbing circles on his back in an attempt to calm him down. “This is between me and him. Niall’s your friend, this isn’t any of your business. You can’t let it come between you guys.” 

“Stella.” Louis said angrily, but calmer than before. “You are my business. It’s my job to protect you.”

“You can’t protect me.” I shook my head. “Not when I don’t even know what I need protection from.” 

Louis broke free of my embrace, turning away from me. “Jesus Christ Stella, how many times do we have to go through this? I told you I was trouble, you’ve known that from the beginning-”

“And you’ve known that someone hurt me badly from the beginning, but you forced me to elaborate on it anyway.” I finished cooly. “Tell me Lou, how is it fair that I have to tell you every sordid detail about my past but you’re still too afraid to let me in?! I’ve told you everything about me, secrets I didn’t even know that I remembered! What is it going to take for it to finally sink in that i’m in this for the long haul?” 

“I don’t have any secrets that are necessary to share, Stella.” Louis said definitively.