Truly, Madly, Deeply: A Dark Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction

Chapter 27: Nobody Compares

I didn't sleep at all that night. By the time I finally decided to drag myself out of bed, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck I was so exhausted. Since there was only five minutes until I had to leave, I decided that I would just throw on a pair of jeans with a worn UM hoodie and call it a day.

I got to history late, as usual. By the time I arrived, everybody was already seated and Mr. Sanders was at his desk, organizing graded papers to hand back to the class. When he saw me come in, he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it once he took in my puffy, bloodshot eyes and unbrushed hair, which I had pulled back into a bun. As I walked to my seat, I could see Perrie shooting me worried glances, but I couldn't bear to look at her, Niall, or Louis, who I was suprised was even here. I had selfishly hoped that he would take another day off, but he was back, wearing a black turtleneck under a denim jacket to cover up all his bruises, the ones on his face hidden under what I supposed was an expertly applied layer of make up. Niall on the other hand looked just about as good as me, wearing a plain white tshirt with his hair haphazardly shoved under a snapback.

I sat down, burying my face in my textbook so that I wouldn't have to look at either of them. I still hadn't decided whether or not I was going to tell Louis about what happened between Niall and I, but there was only six days until I had to break up with him anyway, so what was the point? I felt so guilty that it made me nauseous. What I had done was a terrible mistake, I didn't have any feelings for Niall. At least I don't think I do, I heard my subconscious whisper, but I quickly pushed the thought away.

About halfway through class I heard a rustling noise and a balled up piece of notebook paper landed on my desk. I smoothed it out, my heartbeat increasing rapidly at the familiar slant of Louis' handwriting.

Are you okay? I'm worried about you - L xx

I'm okay, just tired. I quickly wrote, balling the paper back up and throwing it back. I still couldn't bear to look at him, so I turned my attention back to my textbook, staring so intently at the words they started to blur.

Finally the bell rang, and before either Louis or Niall could stop me I took off towards english, glad for the hour of respite I would have from the both of them. I kept my head down as I trudged towards the hall, but out of the corner of my eye I could see a pair of black wedges fall in sync with my footsteps.

"Perrie," I sighed. "Don't you have spanish on the opposite side of campus right now?"

"Maybe." She said. "But i'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." I lied. "I just didn't sleep very well last night."

"Last night? Stel, no offense, but you look as if you haven't slept in days. Listen, besides Dani and Zayn, you're my only real friend here. I'm always going to help you if you need it."

At her words, my spirits lifted ever so slightly. I was really glad that Perrie and I had become friends, but the last thing I wanted was to drag her into this mess. "Really, it's no big deal."

"Obviously it's a big deal, or you wouldn't be so hesitant to tell me what it is. Is there something going on with Louis or Niall? Did he tell Eleanor?" She urged.

I couldn't keep it in anymore, I had to tell her. "Perrie, I kissed Niall last night."

She gasped. "No you didn't!"

Glumly, I shook my head yes.

"Have you told Louis?" She asked, sitting down on a bench and motioning for me to sit next to her.

"No." I admitted, plopping down on the bench.

"You have to tell him. You can't have a relationship based on lies." Perrie said, placing a reassuring hand on my knee. Little did she know that in six days Louis and I weren't going to have any sort of relationship at all. Just the thought itself made me physically ill.

"I know." Was all I said.

"I'm going to tell you a secret." Perrie said after a few minutes of silence. "Last year, at a party, Zayn cheated on me with some girl from that fancy private school in South Beach."

"What?!" I asked, shocked. They had always seemed so in love. Plus Perrie was the prettiest, kindest girl I knew. Why on earth would Zayn cheat?

"Yeah. He swore they did nothing more than kiss, but still when he told me I was absolutely heartbroken. I was so mad at him, but I was glad he told me, rather than trying to hide it." She said sadly. 

"What did you do?" I asked curiously.

"I asked him if he had feelings for her, and when he told me no, I believed it. So I decided to forgive him, just that once. So i'm going to ask you the same question I asked him. Stella, do you have feelings for Niall?"

I don't know." I whispered. "I love Louis so much, but Niall..." I trailed off, not able to describe how I was feeling in words.

"I understand. You love him too. You just need to figure out what kind of love it is. But Stella, you can't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure that Louis isn't exactly innocent either."

I thought about what Niall had said about catching Louis doing drugs in the bathroom, and realized Perrie was right. What I had done was morally wrong, but pretty much everything Louis did was illegal. I needed to speak to him about his little problem before I fessed up to any mistakes of my own.

"Let's get you to english." Perrie said, standing up. "I meet you back here afterwards and you me and Zayn can go off campus for lunch, okay? Sorry about making you late for class, just say you had migraine and went to get some Aspirin from the nurse, that's what I always do."

She gave me a quick hug before flouncing off to spanish. Luckily in english we had a substitute so I didn't get in much trouble for being late. After class Perrie stayed true to her word and was there waiting for me, along with Zayn. The three of us went to Chipotle for lunch, and I had to admit, Zayn was a lot nicer than I originally thought. Hanging out with the two of them almost managed to take my mind off of things.

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly, and as soon as the bell rang, I figured I would go meet Louis at his locker so that I could talk to him face to face.

His locker was pretty far away from mine, over by the drama wing, so it took me about 5 minutes to get there. I didn't see him at first, but when I finally did he was laughing at something that someone just said. When I saw who it was, it felt as if an icy chill had settled over the building.

Eleanor had her perfectly manicured hand on his arm and the two of them were doubled over in hysterics. What was Eleanor even doing here? I knew for a fact that her locker was over by the cafeteria, just like mine, and that she had last period AP Biology with Louis in the science lab. That must have meant that she had walked him over here. But this wasn't what surprised me. What surprised me was that Louis was talking to her, even though he knew what a terrible person she was.

Trying to keep calm, I stalked over to them, aggressively tapping Louis on the shoulder. He turned around, his smile immediately disintegrating when he saw me. "Oh, um, hey Stel."

Eleanor had a smug expression on her face. "Stella! What are you doing over here love?"

"I could ask you the same thing El." I said in a tone just as fake as hers. "Shouldn't you be with Niall, your boyfriend?"

I could see her eyes flash. "He's holding soccer tryouts today. Louis and I were just going to go grab something to eat. I would ask you if you wanted to come, but Perrie told me you already went with her and Zayn to Chipotle for lunch."

I felt as if I had just been hit in the face with an axe. "You two are going out for food? Alone?"

"That's what I said sweetie." She said gleefully, obviously delighted by my reaction.

Louis on the other hand looked as if he had just been caught murdering someone. If looks could kill, the one I must have been giving him would have knocked him dead. "Eleanor, do you mind if I talk to Stella alone for a few minutes? I'll meet you by my car."

Eleanor didn't look happy, but she obliged. "Okay, i'll see you in a few."

I waited until she was out of earshot before turning around to face him, absolutely furious. "Are you kidding me?"

"Look Stel, it's not what you think. Being on the homecoming court means we're automatically a part of the planning committee, we're just going to go sit down and run over some last minute details. It's not a big deal." He said, anxiously running his hand through his hair.

I had to admit, that was a bit of a relief, but not much. "I still don't understand why you have to go with her alone. Why can't someone else do it?"

"Harry, Liam, and Zayn are at football practice getting ready for the game, Niall's at soccer tryouts, Perrie has work, Dani has tutoring at the elementary school, and the other girl, Zoe made up some excuse about why she couldn't do it. Basically El and I are the only ones willing." He told me, and I knew he was being honest, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.

"I just don't like it. You know she likes you." I whispered.

"For fuck's sake Stella, do you know how many girls have asked me out since i've gotten here? I don't want to be with anyone but you, why can't you understand that?"

"What do you mean girls have been asking you out? You cannot be serious Louis." I yelled, not believing what I was hearing.

"Oh, i'm very serious." He retorted. "But it's not as if I say yes or anything! Besides, I don't see any difference between me hanging out with Eleanor and you hanging out with Niall! He follows you around like some sort of lovesick puppy, but I do 't accuse you of doing anything with him, do I?"

I felt my heart skip a beat. Louis was right, I was in absolutely no place to be getting mad at him, about anything. It wasn't my place to tell him what to do and who to hang out with, I was even more guilty than he was.

"I'm sorry, you're right." I said. "I'll talk to you tonight?"

"Yeah, I guess. Bye Stella." Was his reply. That was it. No kiss, no hug, no nothing. What the hell was going on with him? Maybe this was some sort of karma, the universe's way of punishing me for what I did.

I didn't really want to go home, so I headed towards the sporting fields, deciding I would go watch the soccer tryouts. I wasn't a huge fan of sports, but I knew it was important to Niall, so i'd go support him. When it came to what had happened last night, it was probably just best to act as if it was no big deal. That way he wouldn't suspect that it was anything more than it was: a mistake.

I passed the football field, where the boys were being run into the ground by Coach Hawthorne, who was also my physics teacher. I waved to Liam, who was taking a water break. Supposedly he'd just been given a full ride from the University of Alabama to play football for them, which was amazing, but with the boys leaving for X Factor bootcamp in a few weeks, everything was sort of up in the air. I hadn't even asked Louis what he was planning on doing after graduation if X Factor didn't work out, but I knew Niall was planning on going to study biochemistry at Cornell.

The soccer field was much further away then I expected, and I was actually out of breath by the time I got there. Niall was standing in the middle of the field next to who I assumed was their Coach, and I had to admit that he looked really good in his grey and navy uniform. When he saw me, he whispered something to the Coach, who blew his whistle. "Take five!" He yelled to the other boys, who had been running drills.

Niall jogged over to me. "Hey Stel, what are you doing here?" 

"I just came to support you." I shrugged. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah. Friends." Niall said, somewhat glumly. "Listen, about last night- I was out of line. I'm sorry."

"I've already forgotten about it." I assured him. "After all, it didn't mean anything, right?"

"No, absolutely nothing at all." Niall said unconvincingly. "Um, i'll be here pretty late. You can go if you want to." 

I shook my head. "I don't really think there's anywhere else i'd rather be." 

He smiled softly. "Okay then. Afterwards we can go get some dinner, my treat."

I opened my mouth to say that I didn't think it was such a good idea, but then I remembered what Louis and Eleanor were up too right now and all of a sudden I didn't feel so bad. "Sounds like a plan." 

Niall opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a freshman with dark brown hair, who was walking back from the cooler with a group of his friends. "Hey Horan! Is that the girl who gave you those marks all over your neck? If so, good going, I wouldn't mind having a piece of that myself."

"Go fuck yourself Jake;" Niall said angrily. "And if I ever hear you talk about a woman like that again, i'll bench you for the rest of the season. Learn some goddamn respect." 

Jake blushed in humiliation, and a couple of his friends started laughing. "Sorry about him." Niall whispered to me. "But honestly, I hate that kid. I've been looking for a reason to say something to him since the beginning of the year." 

"Thanks." I mumbled, looking at the ground. "You know, for always sticking up for me." I wasn't just talking about now, I was talking about the last eight years. Whenever anyone said something negative to me, he had always been there, even when we weren't speaking to one another. Maybe I should tell him about everything that was going on with Ryder and Louis, it was becoming almost too much to try and handle it myself. 

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you, ever. That's a promise. Go make yourself comfortable in the bleachers, i'll see you after practice, okay?" Niall gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder before running over to join the rest of the team. 

I started to walk over to the bleachers, thinking of what Perrie had said earlier, about figuring out exactly what type of l had for Niall. On paper, he was everything any girl could ever want. Smart, handsome, talented, wealthy, and kind. Not to mention he knows me better than I know myself. I could count on him always being there, no matter what. He was dependable. Louis, on the other hand, I was so obsessed with it was almost scary. I loved everything about him, I had since I had first laid eyes on him. When it comes to how I feel about Louis, nobody compares. Even if I did have to break up with him, there was still a small chance that someday he would figure out what i'd been forced to do and we could be together again. I hated myself for not being able to make an immediate decision, I really did. But it seemed as if when it came down to the two of them, there was no right or wrong answer.

I couldn't live like this forever, I had to choose, and I had to do it soon. Come Sunday morning, the deadline Ryder had given me, I was going to make up my mind once and for all. Someone was going to get hurt, but it was unavoidable. It was going to hurt me more than it hurt anyone else. 

From down on the field, Niall waved at me, smiling. I forced myself to do the same and waved back, my heart dropping. I hope he still had that smile on his face six days from now.

Because come Sunday, absolutely everything, and everyone, was going to change.

_________

A/N

Hey everyone!!! First off, I just want to say thanks again for the birthday wishes!!! I had an awesome day plus I got an iPhone 5 so I honestly can't even complain at all. Secondly, since this was my first chapter I wrote as an official adult, I wanted to make it really exciting and dramatic, but this is so much of a filler I couldn't make it exciting and dramatic at all. It is kind of important though, because now you guys know that Stella's going to make a final decision between Niall and Louis very, very soon. Who do you think she's going to choose? I'm really interested to hear your theories! Also I have good news. I'm leaving for school in 9 days so i'll be updating really often before I get there, so you guys wont have to wait days inbetween updates:) Remember: pretty please vote and especially comment!!! Comments are my fave:)

xoxo Mac