Why I Have To

Chapter 10

June 11, 2009

It's been a week since we've settled in our condominium. A one bedroom unit with two twin beds, a closet for each of us, study tables, a spacious living room with a black leather couch and two recliners, a small kitchen, and a 4 seater dining area. It's not that big... but it's home. Temporarily, I mean.

Jade's parents calls almost every hour, while my father just lets me be— with the occasional text messages once in a while.

After our classes, we would spend the night cooking—or in our case, heating/frying our dinner and settle on the couch to eat in front of the TV where we talk about how our day went. Sometimes David, Paul, or Batchi would come by and bring us food.

At first I thought that Jade would get home sick and would beg me to take her home, but I was wrong. She quickly settled in, blended in her classes, and enjoyed her pseudo-independency.

She told me it was because I was with her, that's why she never felt scared in this new environment.

It's almost 5PM and Jade fell asleep while reading. Since our classes are still light and tomorrow's a holiday, I decided to wake her up so we could go somewhere.

"Jade, gising na. Alis tayo. Naiinip na ako dito eh." I said as I nudged her.

"Saan tayo pupunta?" She said lazily.

"Beer, pizza, music, and rooftop?" I told her with an expectant smile on my face.

Ever since she had her first drink, it became our thing to go to the rooftop and enjoy a bottle of beer and a box of pizza. I'm always the one in charge to get her some since she's still barely legal. I would never let her drink more than one bottle though.

I will always bring my guitar and we would sing our hearts out all night or until her parents start looking for her. It was our usual Saturday night during the lazy days of summer when nothing exciting ever happens around us.

We made our own little world of happiness.

She smiled and quickly jumped from the bed and dressed up.

We arrived at the rooftop just when the sun was about to set. I opened the box of pizza— half cheese, half pepperoni. Because she hates pepperoni and I love pepperoni. I took a slice and removed the crust and handed it to her. She loves crust.

She grabbed the bottle of Corona by it's long neck, popped it open, and handed it to me.

No one spoke as we enjoyed our quiet dinner. After we finished, I took the guitar and strummed. No particular song though, just fiddling with it.

"If there's one song to describe your life, what would it be?" I randomly asked.

We always do this. We would always ask random questions to each other. Sometimes it's silly and we would just end up laughing, but other times it made us know each other on a deeper level.

"Blackbird." She replied in a heart beat.

"But why? Isn't that a song about the Civil Rights Movement during the 60's?" I retorted as I recalled Paul McCartney's famous song written for the struggles of the blacks.

"Exactly. Isn't it liberating? It speaks about being free... Free from oppression... Free from discrimination."

I nodded, as I understood what she was trying to say.

"Take these sunken eyes and learn to see, all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free. Isn't that line beautiful?" She asked.

I smiled in awe.

"That's what I think of myself, just waiting for that right moment... Wishing to be free... How I wish I am... But not in that family... Never in that family..." She said with bitterness so evident.