Why I Have To

Chapter 21

Warning: A lot of Tagalog. Lol

September 2015

Jade's POV

I ran my fingers through the spine of the notebook— contemplating if I should still go on reading it. It hurts too much. As much as I would love to reminisce about all my memories with her, I still can't see the point of what I'm doing.

She left me.

Isn't that reason good enough?

What is this for? It's not like we can take back time and do it over again.

If she has a good reason for it, she could've told me about it. But she didn't.

This isn't healthy at all. I've moved on. I mean, I've tried to move on.

But still, there's this nagging thought at the back of my head that keeps telling me to go on, that I should at least hear her out— that I should still hold on. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I know that I'm still in love with her. That it's her I wanna spend my forever with.

But what am I gonna do if I got my answers? Would I hate her? Would I love her more? Would I leave again? Would I look for her? I don't know.

I heard the player stop, changing to its next track. I cleared my thoughts to get ready to hear the next one, feeling scared and excited all at the same time. I closed my eyes, waiting to be embraced by her voice.

You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together baby
Free together baby
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to love you more than anyone

That's it.

If her song is true... If her song is still true then I think I know what to do. I mean, at least I know the first step to take. That's what she's trying to tell me, right? That we should be free together.

Together.

If I could do it before then I could do it now.

I wiped my tears away, fixed myself, and went out of my room. I turned on the ignition and drove towards my father's office. I sat inside my car in the parking lot, thinking of the things that I would say, preparing for his wrath. As I fidgeted with my fingers, I remembered the last time I was here— partly for the same reason.
************************************************
FLASHBACK

"Have you heard?" David asked worriedly as I drove my car furiously.

"Yes, Ahya Gab just called me. Calm down. I'm on my way to his office, I'll try to change his mind," I said as I quickly ended the call.

It's a weekend, and Althea and I are supposed to tell our families about our future plans, but I guess that's about to change. The closer I get to my father's office, the farther I see our future.