Why I Have To

Chapter 22

January 15, 2011

"I'm free. I'll be there in 5."

Jade abruptly ended the call before I could say anything. What the hell was that? That was cryptic and beyond weird.

I went down the living room and told my father that she's coming over in a few. I just told him about Jade and I's plan on continuing our studies in New York, of course he was more than supportive.

I sat on the couch beside him and before I could even open the television, I heard the doorbell ring.

Jade.

I immediately ran up to the door and opened the gate for her. Her face is flushed with sweat while the heavy bags she brought are falling over her thin shoulders— smiling wide.

Weird.

"What happened to you? Bakit ganyan itsura mo?" I asked as I took her bags and led her inside.

"At bakit ang dami mong bitbit?"

"Itatanan na kita," she smiled playfully.

"Sira!" I said as I pinched her sides. "But seriously, anong nangyari?"

"Can we go inside first bago ko ikwento?"

My father hugged and welcomed her upon entering and left us alone to read his newspaper in the balcony. I always feel butterflies whenever I see my father and Jade together. Sometimes I think he'd rather have Jade as a daughter than me.

I sat her down and asked her what happened. As she told me the story, the happy demeanor she brought in here suddenly dwindled. She cried and cried upon retelling her horrible encounter with her father. She cried even harder when she told me about her mom.

I am surprised that her father could do something like that— to have his only daughter marry someone for business reasons, and to completely disown her for not obliging. Who does that, right? What kind of a father treats his own daughter like a business deal? What kind of father shuns his own daughter for being who she is?

But what surprised me more is her mother. She's a good mother, no doubt about that. She always makes sure that Jade is well taken care of, sometimes including me, but I know how much she always tries to please her husband and the whole Chinese-Filipino community. I know how much she tries so hard to be accepted, especially since she's a pure Filipina. She's like a puppet who obeys what her husband wants. I didn't realize that she had it in her to at least let her daughter make her own decisions and to accept whatever it may be. If only that's the case with her father.

I held her close to me as she wept— not knowing what to do. A part me is guilty for what happened because it is also partly my fault. I somehow took her away from her family. But a part of me is also happy. Happy that she finally knew how to stand up for herself. Happy that she chose me.

I kissed her tears away and held her closer— crying. I cry for her family, who must also be suffering. I cry for the rejection from her father. I cry for everyone who's in the same situation as ours. I cry for her dreams, her future— our future. I cry for her. I cry for us. And I cry for me.

When she finally calmed down, I said, "I have a plan."

"What is it?"

"You'll stay with me, of course. For now we'll ask help from my father, I'm sure he'd be willing to help. He has money, he can make both of our lives comfortable. You won't have to suffer. You can still have the future you dreamed of. I'll take care of everything," I explained. This could work, I could still see hope in this.

She looked at me with thoughtfulness. And shame. I saw shame in there. "You don't have to do that, love. No, the only thing I could accept is living with you. But with the rest, don't worry about it, I can take care of myself."

"What do you mean?"

"I could work, right? So that I'll have money to support myself. I think I could do that. Ayoko namang maging pabigat sainyo. Nakakahiya rin yun kay Tatay."

"Jade, you don't have to do that. We could also give you a good life. Let me help you. Let us help you, please."

"No, I'd like to do this, Althea. As long as you're by my side, I know I'll get through this. So please, don't pity me. I chose this," she said with determination that I've never seen before.

So I succumbed to what she wants. Whatever she wants, I'll be here to support her. She deserves everything in life.

"Anong nangyayari dito? Bakit kayo nag-iiyakan?" my father said upon seeing us as he walked in. I looked at Jade questioningly, asking if it's okay to tell him. She nodded.

"Tay, girlfriend ko po si Jade," I told my father. Until now, we haven't told him what's really going on between us.

He gave us a funny look and said, "Huh? Ngayon lang naging kayo? Kala ko matagal na?"

We laughed at his reaction. My father really knows me too well, no matter how hard I try to hide something, he will always know about it and will support me whatever it is. At this moment, I've never felt more thankful for having a father like him.

"Tay naman eh. Kala namin magaling kami mag secret, hindi pala. Pero kasi may nangyari eh," he told me to go on as I recounted everything that happened today.

"Anong plano niyo ngayon?" he said seriously. I could tell that he's scared for us. Especially for Jade.

Jade, albeit hesitantly said, "kung okay lang po sana makitira muna ako sainyo? Kahit sa condo nalang po ako until I can provide for myself."

My father looked bewildered. "Jade, you're more than welcome to stay. Kahit gaano pa katagal. You're already part of this family kahit na nung hindi pa kayo ni Althea. Wag na wag kang mahihiyang lumapit sakin pag may kailangan ka."

I know that my father would never have a problem with us, but still, his acceptance and understanding is more than I could ask for.

"Salamat po. Balang araw po masusuklian ko lahat ng kabutihan niyo sakin," said Jade in tears.

"Making my daughter happy is more than enough payment, at hindi yun matutumbasan ng kahit anong bagay sa mundo. Sa totoo lang, ako pa ang may utang sa'yo. Thank you Jade for making my Althea happy again."

My father held Jade as if she is his own daughter. They have this certain bond and understanding, some sort of camaraderie to take care of me. The sight of them together makes me warm— overwhelmed.

My father drove us back to our condo. After my father bid goodbye, I held Jade's hands and welcomed her to this new chapter in our lives.

"Love, kahit na malungkot yung mga nangyari, I'm still happy and thankful na nandito ka at hindi ako iniwan," she started.

"Ano ka ba! Ako nga dapat magpasalamat sa'yo eh, kasi ako ang pinili mo. You lost everything, yet still, pinanindigan mo ko."

"I didn't lose everything, I still have you," she said as she kissed me softly.

"I love you, Althea. This is the start of our forever," she added.

She's smiling. She's smiling despite everything. What did I ever do to deserve someone like her in my life?

"Forever? Parang ang tagal naman nun," I playfully teased and tickled her sides, just to hear her laugh.

"Well, forever might be a long time, but I wouldn't mind spending it with you," she said, pointing to my nose.

"Ang cheesy mo naman, love," I said and she laughed. God, I love hearing her laugh.

I cupped her cheeks and gazed longingly at her deep brown pools, "I love you so much, Jade. You don't have to be scared, I'll be here with you. You won't feel alone. Nothing will change."

She closed the gap between us and kissed me— long and hard, full of hope.

****

They say that change is the only constant thing in life, Jade.

Like everything else, we changed. I changed.

And that is why I have to let you go.

Love,
Althea

Author's Note: Can't think of anything to write. Ideas, anyone? :)