Somewhere In Time (A Beatles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 5: Grief

I fully intended to research the reasons for my feelings during my strange meeting with Paul. I was going to go online to see if I could find anything about Paul and I.

However, I found myself procrastinating. There were a couple reasons for this. For one thing, I started college in summer school. I had two classes and they took up a lot of my time. Still, I could have made time, I mean the internet was right there. The main reason I put it off was because I was scared out of my mind. What if I really found something that showed without a doubt that I had known the young Paul McCartney? How would I really feel about that?

I had to face it: I was a coward. Sandy kept pressuring me to get on with it. I told her that if she really wanted to know, she could do the research. She wouldn't do that because she said that it was something I had to do myself. She was right, but I just couldn't make myself do it.

Finally, summer school ended and I had no more excuses. Sandy finally broke me down and I promised to go to the library and stay for at least an hour. I could have just researched at home, but the library had a fairly extensive collection of music biographies. If I was going to research this, I was going to do it extensively.

The fateful Saturday came, and I got my courage up to go. As I was leaving my house I ran into my mom.

"Hey honey, where are you going? To see Sandy?" she asked.

"No, I was just going to run to the store, I need shampoo" I replied not meeting her eyes. I hated lying to her, but I knew telling her I was going to library would have her questioning me further.

"Well, why don't you come with your father and me? Were going to San Antonio for the day. We could go shopping!" she coaxed.

That was a very tempting offer, not only because I liked to shop with my mom, but because then I wouldn't have to do what I had promised Sandy I would do. But I had promised, and it was time to get over my fears.

"I'm sorry mom, that sounds like fun, but I think I will just stick around here," I told her. I was anxious to leave before I lost my resolve.

My mom accepted this, and I told my parents I loved them and kissed them goodbye before they left.

Then I set off for the library. It was a big three-story building in downtown Austin. When I went to find books on the Beatles, I was presented with a whole shelf full of them. I almost didn't want to touch them, but I knew I had to. I realize the internet would have been much faster, but I was still trying to stall a little.

I grabbed the ones pertaining to Paul first. I knew that if I were to find anything it would be at the beginning of his career, because it seemed that what I mostly "remembered" was Liverpool. With this in mind I looked at all the pictures of their early days, and read anything that pertained to Beatle girlfriends at that time.

I looked through the books for almost an hour before I found it. Up until that point I thought I wasn't going to find anything. Thinking that both relieved and disappointed me.

Then I found it. I almost passed over it because two pages were stuck together, but I noticed and pulled them apart. There it was, a picture of me sitting on Paul's lap. There was a caption that said "Paul and Anne O'Sullivan". I was going to read more when my cell phone started to vibrate, and I had to step out of the library to answer it.

"Hello" I said impatiently.

"Anne O'Sullivan?" the man's voice said.

"Yes, this is she" I answered.

"This is Officer Donald with the Austin Police Department. I am currently at your house; would you mind meeting me here? You are not in trouble, there is just something I need to discuss with you" he replied.

"I'll be right over" I said. I temporarily forgetting the amazing picture I had just seen. Something was very wrong.

I called my parents on the way over, but had no answer. I then called Sandy and asked her to meet me at my house. As I drove to home I was sick with worry. What in the world was so urgent that I needed to meet this officer at my house?

I was contemplating this when I reached my house. The officer's car was there, but drove off as soon as I stopped. Sandy and her parents were there, standing beside their car. They looked horrible like someone had died. A horrible thought crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed it as being too horrible to bear. Why hadn't my parents answered their phones & why hadn't they called me back yet?

I let them into the house & sat down on the couch at their behest.

"Anne, I don't know how to tell you this, honey," Sandy's mom Caroline said.

"Just tell me, please!" I already knew what she was going to say.

"Your parents were in a car wreck today. They were both killed instantly. The officer said they didn't suffer. I'm so sorry, sweetie," she said as she came over and hugged me.

I just stood there, too stunned to even react at first. Sandy's mom was still hugging me, and I could hear her talking, but I couldn't understand the words she was saying through the fog of shock.

At last it all registered, and I pushed her away and stepped back.

"Are you telling me that both my parents are dead?" I cried, my voice trembling. Sandy rushed forward to hold me.

"Oh, Anne. I'm so sorry," she sobbed. I just sat there and let her hug me.

I was too shocked to even cry until a couple of hours later. Even as I wept, though, it still didn't seem real. I had just seen them. How could they really be dead? Reality sank in slowly, but inexorably. I was an only child, so there was no brother or sister to share my grief. The closest person I had to a sibling was Sandy; my parents had loved her as if she had been their own daughter. Because this was true, Sandy was grieving, too.

I didn't really have any other family. My grandparents were all dead, and my parents had been only children also. I only had a distant great aunt, so it was up to me to make the funeral arrangements. It was really difficult, but Sandy and her parents helped me through it.

The funeral was really hard, with all of these people coming up to me and telling me how much they had loved my parents. We even had a slide show with pictures of them. I was in most of the pictures, and just watching it made me cry.

Sandy's parents offered to let me live with them; in fact, they wouldn't take no for an answer. I decided that would be best, because they were like family to me. So I put our house up for sale. It sold really fast. I couldn't bear to look through everything, so I put everything in storage.

I didn't really have to worry about money. My parent's life insurance policy was worth three million dollars. I did not go crazy buying a new car or anything. I knew that I needed to save the money.

School started again, but I wasn't interested in it. I felt adrift, as my life did not seem to have any direction. There was only one thing that interested me, and that was Paul. My parents were dead, and as much as I loved Sandy and her family they were not enough to hold me here.

I dropped all of my classes, much to Sandy's parent's disapproval, and began to try to find answers to all of my questions.