My Fear, My Silence

Chapter Nineteen: A different look on life

Everyone came to the funeral. Well, except Carol. Hershel ran off soon after and Beth was in shock. I didn't care though.  Everything thing seemed like it was different. I just sat in front of Mama's grave. DI heard someone behind me, but I didn't care. If it was a walker, oh well.

"Hey Mama." I say. "I have missed you. I found a group that takes real good care of me." I look at the dirt pile. It wasn't fair. Carl had his Mama, why can't I have mine? the person sat next to me. I could tell from the absence of sleeves it was Daryl. I crawled into his lap. "Mama, this is Daryl. He is my new Daddy. He takes good care of me. Daryl say hello." I tell him. He looks at the mound with confusion.

"Uhh Hi."He say awkwardly. "Ya Daughter is real nice. She kept me alive and changed me." He says with a smile.

"See Mama. I'm okay. Daryl takes care of me and so does everyone else. So you can rest with Daddy now. I love you." I say, tears flowing down my face. Daryl holds me tight. I needed him more than ever. Daryl carried me to his camp. It was farther away from the house now. I didn't mind. I didn't really like people. All my stuff was there too. Ika was next to my backpack. I sat by the fire, and stared into red and yellow flames. Blue surrounded the wood itself. The heat rested on my face. Daryl left to go hunting. He needed time to himself. He did everything to find Sophia. Before I knew it, it was dark out. Daryl emerged from the woods with squirrel. I liked squirrel when it had black coating around it. He started to skin them when a figure came towards us. It was Lori. 

"Moving to the suburbs?" She joked, but no one laughed. "Listen, Beth's in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel."

"Yeah. So what?" Daryl said continuing what he was skinning.

" So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back."She said. Daryl said nothing. "Daryl?"

"Your bitch went window-shopping. You want him? I' fetch him yourse. I got better things to do." Daryl Snapped.

"What's the matter with you? Don't you be so selfish." Lori said. That was his last nerve. He got up and got in her face.

"Selfish? Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there looking for that little girl every single day. I took a bullet and an arrow in the process. Don't you tell me about me getting my hands dirty! You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride. I'm done looking for people. " 

"And this is what you want her to be like?" Lori asked with an attitude. She was referring to me.

"Stop being selfish and go be a mom. You are the only one with a kid, be with him." I shot at her. She looked taken back before stopping away. I look at Daryl who was grinning.

"Ya definitely are a Dixon." He said. I got up and walked over. I helped him skin the animal. I pulled the fur back as he cut into it. I took some of the guts and threw it at him. He gave me a playful glare before tickling me. This is what I loved about Daryl. My Daddy. He would always make me smile. After we got cleaned up, Daddy put the squirrels on the stick. I sprinkled salt on top, like Carol taught me. I liked mine really crispy. Once my squirrel was black, he handed me the stick and I dug in. I was really hungry.

"We can't find Lori - and the others aren't back yet either. " She said.

"Yeah. That dumb bitch must've gone off looking for 'em." Daddy told her.

 "What?" She gasped.

" Yeah, she asked me to go. I told her I was done being an errand boy. Mason gave her hell too."

"And you didn't say anything?" He shook his head. "Don't do this. Please. I've already lost my girl. "

"That wasn't my problem neither." He snapped. Carol stood there for a bit then walked away. 

"Be nice to her....Her daughter is dead." I told him.

"Still ain't my problem."

"And if it was me and she did that to you?" I asked. He didn't awnser, just continued eating his squirrel. He knew I was right. Being five and the world ending around you makes you see things others wouldn't. That's why I don't act my age. I know I have to be different to live. Daddy started to clean his arrows and I colored. I drew the fire. 

"What are you doing?" I hear Daddy snap. I look up and it is Carol again.

"Keeping an eye on you two." She said softly.

"Ain't you a peach?" Daddy snapped. I gave him the stop it look but he ignored me.

"I'm not gonna let you pull away. You've earned your place." 

"If you spent half your time minding your daughter's business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's, she'd still be alive!" Daddy shouted at her. I suddenly go scared. I never heard him yell like that before, execpt at the CDC.

"Go ahead." Carol breathed out. 

"Go ahead and what? I mean just go! I don't want you here!" He shouted at her. She just stood there. "You're a real piece of work, lady. What, are you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that? Pfft! Man, you know Jack. You're afraid. You're afraid 'cause you're all alone. You got no husband, no daughter. You don't know what to do with yourself. You ain't my problem! Sophia wasn't mine! All you had to do was keep an eye on her!" He yelled at her. She was crying. 

"But Mason is yours." She said then walked away. He got frustrated and hit a tree. Again and Again. I ran into the tent and grabbed the bandages. I pulled him away from the tree and started to clean his knuckles.

"That wasn't nice." He just stared at the ground. "Carol was trying to be nice. We gotta stick together."

"Psh, I don't need anybody." He said. My heart sunk.

"Okay." I whispered and head to the tent but He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest.

"I wasn't talkin about ya. Just the others." He whispers. "I need my little girl now, I will keep you safe I promise."

"Pinkie Promise?" He starts to chuckle.

"Yeah, pinkie promise." I hug him tighter. He stands up and takes my hand. "The others are here. LEts go see what they brought back." We walk down the hill. Everyone is crowding around, then Glenn pulls someone out the back. I saw him and my heart fluttered. I though he was gone. And now he is here.

"Who the hell is that?" Daryl asked.

"UNCLE RANDALL!" I shout and run towards him.