: Tainted Holiness : [Muke] ON HOLD

[17.]

Michael's lips eventually moved away from mine. I could still feel the warmth on my lips, blood rising to my cheeks as I looked down bashfully, choosing the ripples in the water to be more interesting than anything else.

I could feel Michael's eyes lingering on me admiringly. I didn't know what he saw in me, but, then again he probably didn't know what I saw in him either.

He was a free spirit yet he still seemed to be trapped. I didn't understand it, but then again, I didn't understand a lot.

Michael finally splashed water in my direction distracting me from my thoughts.

"It wouldn't be so hard to just talk to me would it?"

"Hmm..." I looked at him before looking at the small ripples the formed under my fingers. "There's nothing to say." I muttered.

Michael's damp finger hooked under my chin making my eyes gaze into his again, "When there's nothing to say there's always something to shout about, something cry over. Emotions don't only come out through words, silence can be very tricky to judge. You can be content in silence or be in turmoil."

I listened to his words my eyes flicking back and fro between him and the water. I was tempted to just go fully under and see if could escape.

Michael took my hand leading us out of the lake. I shook a bit as the frigid wind hit my sink, the water droplets on my body like ice.

Wrapping the towels that we had left at the edge of lake we walked back inside of the cabin Michael holding the pile of clothes we had discarded earlier.

As soon as we were dry I found myself huddled beneath the covers of the small bed, cozy in Michael's arms.

Michael glanced down at me sighing contently, brushing a feather light kiss onto my forehead. "I like you a lot Luke."

I let out a shaky breath, "You don't know me Michael..."

His fingers ran up my arms warm against my skin. "I want to know you..." His fingers ran down my sides leaving goosebumps as they brushed pass, "All of you..." His lips soon ghosted over neck, his warm breath hitting my skin as I felt a blush tinting my cheeks. "But," he moved away, "I don't want to get that close to you."

"Why not?" I played with his fingers tracing the 'X' tattooed.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to get that attached to you."

I furrowed my brows not understanding what he was saying. "If you like me a lot, why can't you show me then?"

Michael bit his lip and for one second I could see the vulnerability in his eyes. "I don't know- You don't understand."

"Then explain. There's a lot I don't understand."

"Sex, Luke." He paused getting up and walking away. For once not calling me Princess. "I don't know how to-"

I took a breath. Sex, and act left for marriage, something I was taught to avoid. Michael could only express his love that way. I was told to stay away from people like him. I was told-

"Fine," Michael turned to me. "I trust you, remember I said that.

"I would be using you." He muttered moving closer so he was kneeling in front of me.

"And I wouldn't care." I would care. I'd be dirty.

Michael gripped my face snapping me out of my thoughts, "I love you but I can't do this to you Princess. You deserve someone who can buy you flowers and chocolates and give you the fairytale relationship you need."

"I don't want that."

"You do."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"I thrive on physicality and you on spirituality. I don't want to force you to do anything."

"I want to Michael," I said weakly.

Michael placed a kiss to my forehead.

"Goodnight Princess."

And he left me there with my thoughts.