gone. - DISCONTINUED.

{17}

I laid out on the bed, not bothering to get under the covers and kept my head on the soft pillow. I wasn't looking at him, but I leaned back to glance at him occasionally so it seemed like I was contributing to the conversation. "And how exactly were you, uh..sure?" I heard him asked and I groaned quietly, letting out a sigh. "Three times the charm." I answered barely above a whisper. He tried approaching me when he was done with Lani, but that only turned into what my expectations were. I glanced back to see him frown, and I could tell he was struggling to keep his cool as I turned away again. "I didn't tell you when I found out because you'd most likely react worse. I didn't have 'the pill' because I ran out a while back and only my mother has the prescription to get more, and we all know how that worked out. I don't know what the fuck I plan on doing and I'll probably end up leaving sooner or later." I mumbled quietly, and it slowly dawned on him I was answering the questions he yelled at me earlier.

I rolled over, turning to face him as the frown stayed on his face. "Go where?" He asked me and I simply shrugged. "Wherever. I have the money to. Close to 30 grand. I can get some place small and live off of-" "With my baby, right?" He leaned back in the chair he was in and I glared slightly. "That you threw a fit over less than an hour ago?" I sat up, crossing my legs and keeping my eyes on him. "That you visibly don't want?" I questioned and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "You don't know all that shit." He shot at me, messing with whatever was on the table. "I can see it in your face that you don't. You see how long it took you to simply calm down." I mumbled, looking at my hands. "My bad, remind me to be all sunshine and rainbows when some bitch turns up pregnant." He started clenching his jaw and I stared at him for a while, not moving. He rose an eyebrow and I flared my nostrils some, uncrossing my legs. "Fine then." I got off the bed, turning to leave out the room but he pulled me by my arm, blocking the door and furrowed his eyebrows. "Fuck you mean fine?" He asked and I tried smiling. "You won't have a problem. I won't have a problem. There won't be a problem. And there never will." I answered him quietly, and his expression went from ticked off to confused. "If it makes you happy, baby, I'll gladly take that 30 thousand, walk my ass to the closest clinic, and spend about an hour getting rid of your little burden." I pat his shoulder and he grabbed me by my wrist.

"If your answer is whatever the fuck I think it's bout to be, the answer is fuck nah." He said lowly and I looked away. "You said it yourself, did you not? If some bitch turns up pregnant, that bitch can deal with it by getting rid of it." I snapped and he let go of my wrist some, choosing to clench his fist instead. "But you also said yourself, along with Lani, that it's as much mine and you not getting rid of shit." I kept looking away from him, trying to think of something that wouldn't cause me to cry, but nothing seemed to work, and it damn sure would be a failure now. "Look at me." He turned my chin so I was facing him and I tried to ignore it. "You honestly wanna kill this fuckin' baby because you think you know everything?" I pulled in my bottom lip. "I don't think that. I know that, I can see it. Whenever I talk about it you get irritated, and you just refer to me as if I ruined your life or something. I don't wanna go through something if I don't have anybody to go through it with. And I don't. I have Laylani and the other girls maybe, but that's it. You're like...hanging on a thread. And I know it's breaking." I let tears fall anyway. "Besides, you only see me as nothing but a comfort object." I whispered finally, wishing for some reason that I didn't.

He sat me down on the bed, returning back to the seat across from me. "You only been here almost two months, right?" He asked and I nodded. "And it took you like, maybe two weeks to get involved, right?" He asked again and I made a face, sniffing. "What's your point?" He leaned forward. "I waited a month to initiate you. That means I had to watch you and what you do for a while before deciding to even bring you back there. I told you I noticed shit because I do. I noticed your personality for nearly 3 weeks, and I noticed other girls within days. So you're not a damn object. You're a person who's gotten hurt and abandoned so many times that when shit goes wrong, you panic and quick to drop something before it even happens." I blinked, letting his little speech sink in. "And it's fucking annoying. Just let shit ride out sometimes." He reached over and wiped my face as I remained quiet. "I got a long ass time to change my opinion on whatever the fuck you wanna call this shit. But what you're not gonna do is cut that shit short because you're paranoid over shit that you won't even know will happen yet. Alright?" He told me and I nodded, wiping off the rest of my face. "Can I get something to eat." I mumbled, trying to switch the subject and not think too badly. "I don't care. You don't need no help, do you?" I couldn't tell if he was picking or not so I simply shook my head, getting off of the bed and leaving the room quietly. I walked into the kitchen, finding Laylani and Yazmin talking. They looked up when I walked in, and Yaz gave me a small smile. "Why are you two up?" I asked quietly as I opened the fridge, finding nothing appetizing and closing it.

"Just talking. How do you feel?" Lani asked as she leaned against the counter, sipping on a juice mixture. I shrugged, pulling up a bar stool and sitting on it, laying my head against the counter. "You okay?" Yazmin asked, rubbing my arm and I just shook my head. I heard Laylani whisper something and Yazmin gasped. "You're...?" She pressed and I nodded, picking my head up. "Just a week, calm down..." Laylani frowned, noticing my tone. "Hey, what happened in there? He wasn't yelling again, was he?" She asked me and I shook my head again. "It's nothing. I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all." I sighed and Yazmin frowned some. "Well, congrats honey. I'm sure everything will be in place." Yazmin nodded her head, smiling at me. "Yeah, I hope." I picked at a bag of chips, deciding on taking that back in the room with me. "You rooming with us tonight or what?" Lani asked and I shrugged. "I dunno, I didn't ask. I can go in there with you, if that's what you want." I suggested and she shook her head, finishing up her drink and throwing it in the trash. "I think you should stay in there tonight." She gave my arm a squeeze. "And we'll do something in the morning. You'll be alright here by yourself, right?" Yazmin added and I nodded my head, opening the bag and grabbing a handful. "Sure, that's fine..." They both patted my arm, leaving the kitchen and I closed up the bag, walking back into the room as quietly as I had left it to find him on the bed asleep.

I sat on the bed quietly, eating the hand of chips I had and leaning against the pillows, glancing around the room. I looked back at him and sighed, crawling in the covers beside him. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, laying down and playing scenarios in my head until I eventually fell asleep too.