gone. - DISCONTINUED.

{32}

I sat near the window and listened to the water splashing in the pool, Lani making soaring noises, and Shaela giggling and hollering out in the air. More than a few months had gone by, and my daughter was now nine months old. Unfortunately for me, those eight months were not spent getting in shape, and rather staying awake, doing work, being a mother, and just distancing myself. I sighed in the mirror as I attempted to tie up my hair, making the great debate of whether or not to put on a large shirt over the bathing suit I was wearing. It's not like anybody I didn't know was downstairs at the pool--somehow, in some way, we managed to have the pool completely cleared out a few times a week for us in the summer. Despite the fact that it was no longer summer, we still used it being that it was hot as hell in California compared to living in New York.

I had been here for a while now, almost a year, and along with not being adjusted to the atmostphere still, I was turning 19 soon. That was added on to my list of weird things going on in the world, right up there with parenting and witnessing my baby's father being a parent. Which was very weird. But he was very good at it, in fact we never sell in the house anymore. The most was a few blunts in the patio a day. Speaking of outdoors, I decided on wearing the shirt to cover up my stomach full of impending stretch marks, jogging down the condo steps to the pool area. There, Yazmin was on her stomach tanning, Yams leaning against her ass as he did something on his laptop, a few of the other girls who's names I never bothered to ask about my entire time being here, and Lani in the middle of the kiddie pool, trying to get Shae's feet wet--who in response, wasn't even close to having it.

I laid down my towel on a pool chair and sat down towards the edge, sticking my feet in as I leaned back on my elbows. "Is it supposed to be this hot so close to October?" I asked, using my hand to shield some of the sun rays away. I heard Lani laugh and swim up towards me, holding on to Shaela in her arms. "Only been here a few times a year. But typically, yes. That would be the reason why it's called sunshine state or some shit." I popped her on the arm for cursing, it didn't phase her much now but Shae was starting to make noises that sounded like words and I wasn't trying to take any chances, especially in the environment we were in now. She simply squealed as soon as I drew my hand away, and Lani gasped loudly. "Shae! I thought we were friends?" She asked in mock hurt, and I shook my head at her. "You're over dramatic."

"I'm not over dramatic, she's not supposed to laugh at this. Here, hit mommy." She leaned Shaela up towards my arms and I looked down at her, making a face I knew she always cracked up at. And that she did, as Lani face palmed. "No. No baby, that's not what I told you to do." She set her back at her hip, and Shaela started to smack the water just as we heard the condo doors open to reveal Rayna. "The fuck y'all doing out here?" She inquired rudely, jabbing her finger towards the pool and how many of us were actually outside lounging. "We're trying not to become yella like you." Lani answered with a smile on her face, which only prompted an eyeroll and a middle finger from Ray. "Shut your yella ass up. Phone's for you." Ray then walked over and took Shae from Lani's arms, allowing her to climb out of the pool and jog past her into the condo. She rocked Shae on her hip slightly, tickling her stomach before plopping down beside me with a much nicer expression on her face than the one she gave Laylani just a few seconds ago.

"Hey hot mama." She nudged me with a smile, and I wrinkled my nose, wiping the water off from Shae's wet feet. "Ma'am, weren't you just complaining about us being outside? Go back in the house with the shade." I taunted sarcastically, pointing to the open condo door. She rolled her eyes, waving me off slightly with her hand before focusing her attention on Shaela. "Hush up. She's gotten so big already, man, how long has it even been?" She seemed to state her question more than ask it, and I simply shrugged my shoulders, still wondering to myself how I managed to keep count. "Only yesterday I was waddling around the house and falling asleep everywhere. Now I'm trying not to fall asleep everywhere and crawling." She laughed at my response and I simply huffed, watching as Lani returned outside with Rakim beside her, who shoved her slightly as she began to laugh.