《Newtmas Oneshots》

Watch Me Go

Newt's POV

I didn't want it to end like this. With you beneath me, a look of fear plastered on your handsome face as I pulled the gun up to my temple. I watched myself turn insane from the inside out. I was trapped inside my own mind, watching the Flare control everything I did, and everything that I said to you. I didn't mean any of it.

I never hated you, I've always loved you. More than a friend or brother as you've most likely seen me as.

You were never a coward, you were the bravest of us all. You lead us out of the Maze that we had almost fully surrendered to. You gave me hope when I had lost it all those years before when I jumped off that wall. I was the true coward. I ran from my fears and responsibilities to everyone else. I was selfish thinking I could handle everything on my own when I really was just tearing myself apart.

At some points, you may have been stupid, I must admit, but that's another thing that I love about you. You rush into things with your stupid ideas, but it's all out of love and care for others. You've sacrificed so much for all of us, and what have we done in return? Nothing even close to repaying what you've done for us.

I can't handle seeing you in pain of what you've done to me, so I'm glad I'm not there to see it. I know that your kind heart is breaking, and that you think that it was all your fault, but it wasn't. We all have weaknesses, Tommy.

I never wanted to become a Crank, and to go so far as to beg for death to be brought upon me, I never expected it to happen. I never wanted you to kill me. Behind those insane eyes was a broken person pleading for you not to pull the trigger. But I'm thankful that you did. I never could've lived as a Crank.

It was hard for me too, Tommy. It was hard watching the immense saddness in your eyes as you watched me go.

I had always loved you, from the moment you came out of that box, I knew you were the one for me. But I always kept it to myself. I never confessed my love, so I watched you go from Teresa to Brenda with pain in my heart.

Just remember that it was never your fault, Tommy. Remember that I will always love you.

Please, Tommy. Please forgive me.

Short chapter, sorry 'bout that. I haven't really had any time to do a lot of writing. Anyway, I thought of this one while rereading the forbidden page. Thanks, and I'll be updating soon! (Vote and follow ples?)  Oh, and remember that I can take a request for a oneshot! Just private message me or comment!

~October