Alaska {Zayn Mailk} [Book Two]

One.

°·Zayn·°

They keep talking about me. They don't think I hear them, but I do. They keep saying how I just need to heal. How all this pain will go away. How I just need time to cope. Words can't even express how much it hurts to have your God damn heart ripped out of your chest. They have no idea how much it hurts. I can't even listen to the radio because all the songs they play are sappy love songs. Love songs just hurt me more.

Leann has tried talking to me. She's tried to get me to open up. She's even tried to drag me out of my flat. I would just ignore her, though. Ever since the day Perrie decided to rip my heart out, I've gone back to the Zayn I was before I met her. I've gone back to hiding my feelings and not talking.

The lads have tried to get me out of my shell. They've all tried talking to me individually, trying to make me forget about her. How the hell do they expect me to forget about her? Do they not understand that she was my entire world? My life? They don't have a damn clue. They're all trying, only to be shot down.

Eleanor and Louis are happy. Danielle and Liam are happy. Leann and Niall are happy. Hell, Harry is happy and he doesn't even have a girlfriend! Why am I the only that gets to feel this way?! Did I do something wrong? I know karma is a bitch, but did I do anything to deserve this?

All I want to do is sit at home, watch football, and ignore the world. But you know, nobody cares about how I'm feeling. The tour most go on even if I'm pissed off and depressed.

So, what am I doing now? Standing outside of the airport, waiting for our damn flight to America and for the rest of the band to show up. Do they not understand that our flight leaves in almost an hour?

Pissed off, I mumbled a few words under my breath and pulled out the pack of cigarettes in my pocket. Before you pull the whole 'It'll give you lung cancer, Zayn. You should really quit.' Let me ask you something: Would you rather me drink away my sorrows and pain? Or would you rather me smoke two packs a day? I think I like the second option better. Just as I lit a cigarette, Harry showed up.

"Where's everyone else at?" He asked me, as he adjusted his beenie. I took a drag, before looking up at him and shrugging my shoulders.

"Are you even the slightest concerned where they might be?" He asked me, trying to get me to talk. I threw the cigarette to the pavement, squashed underneath my black converse, and stared at him.

"I just want to get on the plane so I can sleep." He rolled his eyes at my response, as we turned and walked into the airport. Once we reached the gate we had to get on at, we both sat down in the small gray seats, waiting for the rest of them to arrive. Not even fifteen minutes went by and Leann and Niall showed up. Hand in hand. With big ass smiles on their faces.

"Hey fellas." Niall said cheerfully. I gave him a simple nod, while Harry stood up and greeted them. Leann looked at me and sighed, before grabbing my hand, pulling me put of my seat, and dragging me away from the two.

"How are you feeling today? And don't say 'fan-friggin-tastic' because you and I both know that's a lie." She isn't going to stop, is she?

"What else do you want me to say, Le?" I replied, crossing my arms against my chest. She copied my action and sighed, this time in frustration. You and me both, sister. Upset, she walked back towards Harry and Niall. Suddenly, Liam and Louis appeared out of thin air. I never even saw them come in. They all greeted each other and laughed.

When I'm around them, I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge. If that even makes any sense.

"Flight 809 to Los Angeles now boarding."

With that, the the lads, Leann, and I grab our bags, and head towards the plane. I'm tired, so the faster we get to the plane, the happier - well, somewhat - I'll be. Once we're seat and situated, I popped my headphones into my white iPhone and just drowned everything - and everyone - out. As I looked around, I saw that the lads and Leann were in the seats beside and in front of me. Great.

I looked out the window and saw that we were zooming down the runway, about to take of to the sky. I hate the height and jetlag that result from being on a plane.

I just hate everything.

As I closed my eyes and dozed off to sleep, a sad love song came on. I tried to skip it, but Pandora told me I was out of skips. Dammit.

"-Now that we've come to an end, you say that you wanna be friends.." Really? That's how the song is gonna start? Is Pandora trying to kill me today?

"-Don't say a word, don't make a sound. Don't keep in touch, don't come around. Don't ask me how I'm doing now. Don't think of me, just fade me out..." Hi, I'm Zayn Malik, and I approve of these lyrics.

"-Forget about me and I'll forget about you.." Only if it was that easy , song. Only if it was that easy.

"-I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore. I can't be friends cause it hurts like its never hurt before. Now you think that I'm cold and I don't care about you. I'm better without you, couldn't be further from the truth. Girl, I'm dying, I'm just trying to survive you..." Isn't it funny how a simple song can resemble what mood your in? The whole damn chorus alone resembles my mood.

"-My scars are still burning since you walked away. Cause you rip them wide open when I see your face. I'm back at square one trying to breathe through the pain. You don't even know what you're doing to me. When I get through to life after you?" Preach it! This is now my official theme song.

"-I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore. I can't be friends cause it hurts like its never hurt before. Now you think that I'm cold and I don't care about you. I'm better without you, couldn't be further from the truth. Girl, I'm dying, I'm just trying to survive you..." I closed my eyes and instantly, the scene where Perrie told me she was leaving me began to replay in my mind.

"-Now that we've come to an end, you say that you wanna be friends.." Just as that was said, the scene where Perrie asked if we could be friends started playing.

"-I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore. I can't be friends cause it hurts like its never hurt before. Now you think that I'm cold and I don't care about you. I'm better without you, couldn't be further from the truth. Girl, I'm dying, I'm just trying to survive you."

I ripped the headphones out of my ears and balled my fist. The song affected me more than it should have. Only because it reminded me of her. I felt my chest start to hurt, telling me that even though we broke up three months ago, she hurt me more than I know.

F*** you, Perrie Edwards.

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·•·And that's chapter one. What did you guys think? Please let me know. Chapter two is gonna be different. I have it planned out already.

How do you think he's handling it?

Comment, vote, and follow.

Logan, xx