Restoring the faith

I need to tell you something..

I laid in bed with a thick head from crying early this morning, I didn't want to see Zak so when he came in I played the sleeping card again. Only this time I made it convincing.

He also knew better than to wake me up.

The door opened only I wasn't quick enough to put my phone back down.

"I know you've been awake for a while, but I guessed you didn't want to speak to me.." Zak spoke coming in and looking at me as he sat by my feet.

I had the decency to apologise for the things I said to him, I was disgusted in myself. Zak hadn't said sorry.

He believed that what he said was true.. It couldn't be any further from the truth.

I wanted to scream the truth at him, just shut him up but the chance of him walking out on me was greater. For some reason I'd rather let him believe utter shit then tell him the truth. I guess I took my confidence into account for it. Because if he walked I'd never tell anyone again.

"Brit? Please." He spoke placing his hand on my legs.

I pulled my legs away and ignored him.

"Brittany." He spoke sounding annoyed.

"Do you know what I hate about you?" I asked him.

"No, what?" He asked rolling his eyes.

"You'll never apologise despite you being in the wrong. You'll never say sorry when you need to."

"I said sorry last night." He replied.

"As I was hyperventilating like an idiot. No you were apologising through panic. Well shove that sorry right up your ass. You aren't sorry." I spat pulling the bedding off me and getting up.

"Br-Brittany." He had got off the bed and grabbed my hand pulling me back to him.

"You didn't say sorry!" I shouted hitting his chest.

"Brittany plea-"

"You think you know me! You think you know everything?! You are wrong!
You don't know anything!" I shouted pulling myself out of his arms.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm a- what's the point?! What are we even doing? We didn't even last a day. You don't regret any of your actions or words. None of them." I answered throwing my bag on the bed and began emptying the draws.

"Just wait.."

"No, I'm done waiting for whatever I'm suppose to wait for. I want to go home, I'm going home. They want the cabin back and this whole holiday was a waste of time because we are worse off now then we have ever been." I answered.

"If you stop maybe it won't be!" He shouted.

I glared at him as he looked away.

"How do you do it?" Zak asked.

"Do what?" I responded throwing my clothes in my bag and leaving out an outfit to go home in.

"You get under my skin, you make me angry but at the same time I'm crazy about you?" He asked.

"You're delusional." I spat and went into the bathroom taking a shower.

Showers wash away everything, sadness and anger in an instant. I needed that as the water came down on me. Cleansing me of negative feelings I had inside me.

After the shower I sat in the bathroom not wanting to leave.. I had to, but I didn't want to.

I walked out the bathroom to an empty bedroom, disappointment filled me again. I was grabbed and pinned to a wall with my hands high up.