Broken Half

Chapter Six//Journal

"I'll be waiting here" Ashton said.

I walk into the building and find the room then enter "Ellie its nice to meet you I'm Ms.Daniels, take a seat." Motioning to a couch. I take a seat on the black leathered couch.

Ms.Daniels seems pretty young to be doing this sort of thing.She looks like she's in her early twenties. All my therapist have been older.

"So how are you?" Ms.Daniels said.
"Im fine." I always say the same thing every time. Im never okay I always say I'm fine but I'm not, I know I'm supposed to tell them what I really feel because they won't say anything to anyone but I just can't! I can't even trust a lady that is 'trying to help'.

"Ellie I'm here to help you. You know you can trust me, I know your going to have to get used to being back in these sessions but I am really here to help."

"How am I supposed to trust you..." I can't even trust my own head how am I supposed to trust her.

"You don't I guess but I give my word that I wont say anything, I can't say anything. "

I shrug and most of the hour consists of her asking simple questions like "whats your favorite color?" and stuff like that I don't answer to any of them though.

When the hour is almost over Ms.Daniels pulls out something, its a tan Journal. "Ellie I want you to start writing in this journal anything you feel, everything you feel, and when you come on Thursday if you want you can tell me something you wrote in it. It can even be a simple comment. This is your Journal and you can write in it as much as you please."

I stare at her for a few seconds before grabbing the journal from her hands . "Okay... The hour is over can I go now?"

"Yea, you have a ride right?"

I nod and head out the door with the journal in my hands. Ms. Daniels peeks her head out of the door and waves. " Bye Ellie see you on Thursday."

I walk out the door from where I entered the building. Ashton was already waiting in the front. I slide into his car.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Eh it was whatever... can we go home now?"

"Yea of course" Ashton starts his car and we head home.

When I get home I start doing my homework I stare at a blank piece of line paper that is supposed to be my letter. I don't know how to start this paper.

Dear mom, I miss y— *crumbles paper*
Dear dad— *crumbles paper*
Dear parents, I— *crumbles paper*
Dear mom & dad,

***

Waking up with a pen in my hand and my head on my desk. I look up blinking a few times to focus my vision on my clock i still had 30 minutes until my alarm rang i decided to start getting ready.

When I'm done getting ready, I decide to sit on my bed. I still had 40 minutes until I met Ashton down stairs to head to school.

I glance at my journal and think about what I should write in the first few pages. This is stupid but I have no choice so I guess I'm writing in it. Instead of writing in it I start to sketch half a face on the page. I have a feeling that this journal is going to be more of a sketch book than an actual writing journal.

•••

Its Thursday and I want to write something in this journal before going to my therapy sessions, anything.

So I started school this week its been alright I didn't expect much from it since its school. I have met new people sort of apparently there Ashton's friends and they seem interesting I just cant manage to give them a chance. There's this guy that I want to get to know but at the same time I don't, it doesn't make much sense but there is something about him I'm still deciding if its something good or bad. He hasn't talked to me much this week besides him telling me that he can't wait to hang out this weekend. Michael & Calum are really nice, I kind of didn't expect them to be this nice since they have that bad boy vibe just like Luke. Ashton has been so helpful I'm just scared he is going to expect too much from me and end up disappointing him. Disappointing them!

I've been sitting here staring at my chipped nails for about 40 minutes. Ms.Daniels attempts to talk to me but I don't budge.

"Ellie I see you brought your Journal, did you write anything in it?" I shrug. "I guess, you can read it if you want." I tell her. She opens the journal and starts reading it. "Ellie I'm glad you have met some people in your school, I want you to give them a chance. Whats the worst that could happen."

***
Friday swings by quickly. I head into my seventh period and I see Luke already sitting in his usual seat. "Your here early..." I say a bit concerned. "Well nice to see you to E." He says with a smile spread across his face. I cant help but look at his lip ring, when I realize that I'm staring at his mouth I quickly look up at his eyes. Did he just call me 'E'?

"So are you ready to go out with me after school?"

"Wait we're going right after school? I thought you said this weekend." I feel a bit worried now, I thought we were going out until tomorrow.

"We still are, but I wanted to hang out today as well I hope you have nothing to do today."

"I don't, I just need to tell Ashton first."

"Are you and Ashton like...dating?" For a second I don't say anything.

"No why would you think that?"

"Well I don't know you have to inform Ashton on what your doing so..." He shrugs and stares at me for a few.

"I— I live with Ashton & his mom. They're taking care of me right now I don't know if this is going to be permanent or not." We make eye contact. He looks a bit concerned.

"Long story." I tell him

•*•*•*•*•*•

I feel like so much was going on in this chapter. I'm kind of excited for you guys to read the next chapter.